tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69026358441110445162024-02-19T03:20:38.332+00:00Life Without SpanxsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-60776173396388352552019-03-07T21:29:00.000+00:002019-03-08T09:36:05.119+00:00SPOTLIGHT: TUMI OLAOSHUN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Giving how much she's impacted my life in such a short space of time, I can't quite pinpoint when I came to know about Miss Tumi Olaoshun. Like an angel, she found her way into my peripheral (and her book into one of my faves of 2018) just at the right time. Funny, smart and transparent to a T, Tumi's personality and ability to turn heartbreak into healing is why I had to share her talents on this Spotlight.<br />
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Having previously attended her book club, I can testify that Tumi's narrative echos many situations us singletons are experiencing, with her personal journey to writing her first book <i>'What They Don't Tell You About Being Single</i>' (WTDTY) being the revelatory spark. Below, we discuss the inspiration behind WTDTY, authoring to a new audience, being 30, single and thriving and building up a generation of women to be better for God.<br />
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<u>Tumi The Author</u></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Why WTDTY? </span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The honest truth is that God used me to write this book because He wanted to show me how far He had brought me. The process of writing very therapeutic for me and allowed me to share my brokenness and experience with other women. A lot of my mistakes I made because I just didn’t know any better. I had friends and support in the church, but I didn’t think ‘these things’ were the things we should be talking about until it was too late. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">The road to WTDTY</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Was I scared? 100%. A lot of my dating faux pas and some of my most painful moments are in that book. But I deeply believe that I needed I do that, to celebrate my coming out on the other side. A lot of people found it almost strange that I had written the book whilst still single. But for me, it was essential that I shared what I had learnt, where I am. I don’t believe that just because I am still single that my experiences are less valid compared to if I was engaged or married. My prayer with this book was that if it helped ONE woman make a better decision, develop a better understanding of herself in Christ, then it would have been worth it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Educating a new Audience </span></h3>
The support has been overwhelming, I have been received so much love from married and single readers, women and men. In fact, I have had men message me about how they didn’t really understand it from a women’s point of view. I think they were particularly surprised that it wasn’t a man bashing book or a name and shame. They’ve actually been the ones to recommend my book to other women, that was an unexpected surprise!<br />
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<u>Tumi the Woman</u></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Women who do it afraid are the real winners</span></h3>
It took a lot of courage for me to release the book. Up to the last few weeks of release, I had many doubts and anxieties about the thought of my sharing my story from my perspective. I was petrified what people think. Seven months on, I am so grateful I did. I have found a new strength and boldness in God’s plan for my life. I would also challenge anyone who has been afraid to do something out of their comfort zone, to do it anyway. WTDTY is a prime example of doing it afraid!<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Keeping it all the way Intentional</span></h3>
When I first released the book, loads of my friends thought it would “bring all the boys to the yard…” but actually it was been quite the opposite. And that doesn’t worry me. In fact, it has been a relief, because it really sifts out the guys with real intent and the guys who ‘just want to see where it will go’. WTDTY has enabled to be bold about my faith, my requirements in a partner and as time goes by, I am more unapologetic about it. It’s saved me a lot of time!<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Tumi to the world</span></h3>
There were many things pre WTDTY I was too shy to talk about. More times than not I am often, when I am posting on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/knowingbetterdoingbetter/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: magenta;">@knowingbetterdoingbetter</span></b></a> I'm preaching to myself, talking about myself, and hotting myself up (sometimes it has to be done!). But the bigger picture is to challenge this generation of women to be better for God. For so long, I tried to handle my love life in my own strength, I wanted to mix parts of the world, with the best part of the Bible and I wondered often why it awry. I want women to seek themselves in Christ, to be women who fight in prayer for their future, themselves and their dreams. I have experienced first-hand the healing and wholeness that is available in Christ Jesus, and I am desperate to maintain that wholeness, especially in the area of relationships.<br />
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<u>Tumi in 3 Words?</u></h2>
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Passionate, Committed & Loyal </h2>
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Whew Tumi! Got to love an inspirational woman ❤<br />
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You can follow Tumi on Instagram (<span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/knowingbetterdoingbetter/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><b>@knowingbetterdoingbetter</b></a></span>) or purchase <i>'What They Don't Tell You About Being Single'</i> here: <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-they-about-being-single-ebook/dp/B07DY23GYL" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: magenta;">e-book</span></b></a> | <a href="https://www.tumininu.com/online-store" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>hardback</b></span></a> .<br />
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Tickets to She Doesn't Understand, Tumi's first live conference, can be bought <b><a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/she-doesnt-understand-tickets-56262291027" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here </a>; be quick, tickets are nearly sold out!</b><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5073509 -0.1277582999999822351.1912379 -0.77320529999998222 51.8234639 0.51768870000001777tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-30901775793124887232019-03-03T11:15:00.001+00:002019-03-03T11:15:36.471+00:00SBisms™: The Intentional Series Vol. 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At one point in my life, I wanted to go. I thought “<i>Anything is better than experiencing this ache in my heart, this utter feeling of worthlessness</i>”. To see that sentence in words still breaks my heart a little. But to bring the final Vol of #TheIntentionalSeries took a certain type of bravery that I want to encourage in those who have shared this journey with me. Being honest, I think that’s why it’s taken me so long to write it. Truly, I have taken a few hits from men in my days of dating. From disgust at my weight, to questioning my creativity. A disregard of my concerns and a displeasure at my emotions. I’ve experienced the bad, the worst and that one person who truly breaks you. Thank God for God though. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To write about how to deal with heartbreak when in your dating season, should you have experienced it in any form, would be ill-advised. Over my years of dating I have learnt that, whilst similarities are shared in actions, each situation holds its uniqueness in who has experienced it. Hands up if your friends, with the best intentions, have given you advice during a break up and in your head you’ve still told them to f-ck off. Yeah, it’s that real. Instead I’ll talk about my journey, in the hope that somewhere in the next 831 words, you’ll find the strength you need to start the healing process for good. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was never good with rejection. Not that I was ever ballsy enough to pursue a man. If a guy who I liked showed a mutual interest, to then take it away, I would whip myself into a frenzy of sleepless nights wondering what went wrong. I wasn’t perfect; growing pains and cowardice have driven me to make decisions in the past which have hurt others. But, more often that not, I was always the more willing party to deal with the mistakes and try to fix things. My biggest mistake, however, was internalising each instance something went wrong. Somehow, the problem would always come back to me. I was angry at how I had been treated but even more so that I had allowed it to happen; the older I got, the less I forgave myself. Mid-last year I wrote about a turning point in my life that I thought took me a huge leap forward in my healing process. Little did I know it was just the beginning. I wanted to further take ownership of where my own and others’ past flaws had scarred me, so I began to see a therapist. I don’t think I’ve cried so much in a 6-month period. Tough is an understatement. Having to be wholeheartedly honest about how much I was still hurting. How lowly I saw myself at times. Trying to accept that, in some of the circumstances, I’d never receive the closure I felt I needed. How was I to move forward with no clarity?? Here’s the thing.. you just do. I know, easiest said then done, but heartbreak’s greatest ally is impatience. Whether it be love, lust or even just an intense 24 hours which has impacted you, our minds need time to recover. What I appreciated from my therapy sessions was speaking to an impartial person that made me realise that your first priority is kindness to self. And after heartbreak, that takes time. But it’s not impossible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I began to communicate with others more. Baring my vulnerability and the fact that this pain was here and wasn’t going away easily to my closest friends and family. I didn’t know how they would deal with it, given they’d always known me to be the energetic one, but they, in turn, surprised me with their love and own war stories. My heartbreak has brought some of the best people closer to me in my life. I took more time to do what I love. It comes with its challenges, pursuing a passion when you’re at one of your lowest time but it reminded me that I could still experience another form of happiness. A sheer moment of delight at something that you’ve created does more to you that a lot of people appreciate. To quote a great song<b><u> <span style="font-size: large;">“you can use a broken heart to heal a broken love”</span></u></b>. I prayed. A lot. God has been an anchor to me like no one. It wasn’t just the ‘structured’ prayers either; it was the snotty-nosed, tears-streaming kind, the informal chats I never thought I could have with the Creator. One of my favourite scriptures was, and is still, Psalm 27:14:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When it felt like there was very little to hold onto, I held onto the thought that there would be more. In time I also realised that newness would come when I was ready for it. No magic tricks. No get better quick. Just preparing for something new and learning, finally, to be kind to myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like they say, the proof is truly in the pudding. In the last 6 weeks, I’ve been challenged on what I learnt in therapy and in life in various ways, including by the one that broke me. The exchange you see above took place last month was with a guy who I had previously really liked but things didn’t work out. Honestly, a year ago, his words would have caused more damage than good, whatever his intentions were. But my understanding of knowing where I want to be has helped me appreciate the person I’m shaping into in the interim. More importantly, who I want to open myself to will see it all; the growing with the growth. If there is one thing I want every reader to take from this Vol, and the #IntentionalSeries as a whole, it is this: the operative word in your journey is ‘your’. Yes, others will feed into it. They may make you laugh, they make you cry, they may tear your down or lift you up. But the outcomes will always be unique from others because... well, it’s you. And you’re unique. To bring it full circle I’ll quote myself from Vol 1: “In whatever form it takes, we all deserve true happiness and peace but we firstly hold the ability to make that happen”. Own that.</span><br />
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you've enjoyed reading this please follow </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/lifewithoutspanxs/"><span style="color: #212121;">@lifewithoutspanxs</span></a></span></u></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"> or the hashtag </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/theintentionalseries/"><span style="color: #212121; text-decoration: none;">#TheIntentionalSeries</span></a></span></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;">. All opinions and interactions are welcome;
let’s get a discussion going!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt;">SB xx<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;">CLICK
HERE FOR VOL 1 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol1.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121;">Be Intentional</span></a></span></u></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;">CLICK
HERE FOR VOL 2 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol2.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121;">The Importance of Chemistry</span></a></span></u></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;">CLICK HERE
FOR VOL 3 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/12/theintentionalseriesvol3.html" target="_blank">Making The First Move</a></span></span></u></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 4 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/01/theintentionalseriesvol4.html" target="_blank">The 101 (the basics of dating)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-79827497211921763442019-01-05T17:18:00.000+00:002019-09-05T14:43:55.632+01:00SBisms™: The Intentional Series Vol. 4<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wildlings. Wildlings. Wildlings. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> How many times did I write it? <b><u>Three
times</u></b>. Why? <b><u>Because they are 3D
real</u></b>. The folk in Game of Thrones are
child’s play compared to these lot. Their sweet talk, sexy moves and smooth
actions can have you body-popping and feeling like Michael Jackson when, really,
they have you looking more basic than Chris Tucker’s back-up dancer on a
bootleg copy of Rush Hour 3. Wildlings aren’t attributed to one gender; rather,
their sole purpose is secure the fuckery bag; a combination of attaining their higgy-hagga
goals whilst passing on the L. In this dating ‘jungle’ it’s easy to be scarred
by their actions, whether with simple dates or, even worse, in
relationships. However, being
twenty-forever (a phrase the pre-90s readers will appreciate) I’ve learnt a
fair few things in my time which I’ve slowly laid down as foundation (after a
few false starts, believe me!) to stay wildling-free. As I said in Vol 1, I
want The Intentional Series to contribute to a new conversation which simply
keeps it 100%. So, below are a few tips
which have helped me thus far. </span></div>
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<h3>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>Trust Your Intuition</u></b></h3>
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<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;">Intuition, by definition, is the process that bridges the gap
between the non-conscious part of our mind (that inexplicable sensation or
feeling you have towards a situation), and the conscious part which assesses
facts and evidence.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">In dating terms,
your potential partner may be saying all the right things but your spidey senses
are still tingling.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">Don’t dismiss the
feeling in its entirety! It is important that a balance of facts and feelings
are weighed but, in our modern dating society, we are much more susceptible to
pushing down our intuition all in the name of ‘my type of paper’ and ‘aspirational
relationship goals’.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My best example of this was talking to a guy over a fair few
months (let’s call him <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Mr My Type</b>).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, <b>Mr My Type</b> was a-bout it; sexy, intelligent,
God-fearing, good job, and he made me laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whilst we had very different personalities, our conversation flowed
through the DMs, Whatsapp & Facetime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Man, I was h’excited! We eventually met up and when we kissed..!
However, just under a week after, <b>Mr My Type</b> went 180 and disappeared on
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From past experience, I’d learnt to
ask rather than to assume and I (nervously) enquired why the comms had cooled
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><u><i>The way my ass got gas-lit on
fire, word to Busta Rhymes!</i></u> He told me it was in my mind and not to think too
hard about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Against my better
judgement I pushed it to the back of my mind, playing it cool but secretly
hoping he’d realise I was the Right to his Type.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Months passed and things started to heat up
again.. only for me to find out not only did he now have a girlfriend but they’d
started to see each other when I first spoke! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was like “What in the Stevie J and Peter
Gunz is this?!”. Needless to say, I learnt my lesson there.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s said our intuition is what we have unconsciously taken
in from our experiences, surroundings and learnings, even if it’s been
experienced by a third party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either
way, it’s not as foundation-less as the less scrupulous would have us believe. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m definitely not saying to feed into your neurosis
and dismiss a potential partner at the slightest wrong turn (bad experiences
can do that to you) but your intuition has your back; listen to what it says.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwECmf4DpKfh7K7boDuKYvs0V8Mu5jii2wZabtQpk6MhH9FxyZLs1IROGhbL-p6WDV1Orb6oTLY2HnJAwxUMqRCn0DkqiIwU27_I1Fq3a6uqQPQ_6tkLj-Ga_wyLko6RxwEe6iX2ioirtn/s1600/IMG_6973%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwECmf4DpKfh7K7boDuKYvs0V8Mu5jii2wZabtQpk6MhH9FxyZLs1IROGhbL-p6WDV1Orb6oTLY2HnJAwxUMqRCn0DkqiIwU27_I1Fq3a6uqQPQ_6tkLj-Ga_wyLko6RxwEe6iX2ioirtn/s1600/IMG_6973%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><br /></u></b><b style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>If you
want to live your best life, do it with honesty</u></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">I’ve touched on this a few times on Life Without Spanxs: when
I was first on my learning curve of love (<a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2017/02/deuces-to-noflirtfebruary.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><b>Deuces to #NoFlirtFebruary</b></a>) and, more
recently, <a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/12/theintentionalseriesvol3.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Vol 3 of The Intentional Series</a>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><b>it </b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> is </span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> okay </span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> to</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> 👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> live</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> 👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> your</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> 👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> best</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> 👏🏿</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> life.
</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><b>👏🏿</b>!</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> Yes,
I am an advocate for being intentional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I said in Vol 1, being intentional is the decisions you make and the
actions you take for the peace you gain, and I would not be writing if I didn’t
think that peace was attainable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How-ever.
Everyone’s growth curve is different and, with that, their ability to have a
fulfilling relationship can be hindered. It’s understandable if you want to
gently test the waters to understand what you’re looking for. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What you will not do, though, is recklessly
splash the waters with your metaphorically bulbous stomach heaving with greed, lies and zero accountability;
issa no from life boo!</b> Quite simply, if you’re not looking for anything
serious, be honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I’ve gotten older,
I’ve come to appreciate the more candid of the opposite sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not so much their Peter Pan behaviour at
times but more just the balls to say it as it is. If the potential doesn’t want
to engage, as they’ll likely tell you, there are other who will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So clear the path and keep it moving. Ladies, a
kicker for you too; you ALWAYS have a choice. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I know he is certified fire in the booth
and his other words are sweet like honey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But let’s keep it all the way up; if he’s told you straight how it is,
understand you are the rule to that and let HIM make you the exception to his ways, not the other way round</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdCRWgyNhhRyAG5foqIrKbkzHc_LG-M9SUwUI1As776F2LeL84y4nbiNZ3Pp1FNJFlUCQqhXkpgn9XZydQthJlR9D58g6PDiCU9l1j_AFvLrEfML-sceFnhthJuGbgzkFwap1e_WEUH5l1/s1600/IMG_6966.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdCRWgyNhhRyAG5foqIrKbkzHc_LG-M9SUwUI1As776F2LeL84y4nbiNZ3Pp1FNJFlUCQqhXkpgn9XZydQthJlR9D58g6PDiCU9l1j_AFvLrEfML-sceFnhthJuGbgzkFwap1e_WEUH5l1/s1600/IMG_6966.JPG" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><u>Never Internalise </u><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Given the emphasis of dating in modern society is greater
than ever before, when things don’t go well, it’s easy to fall into the Emotional
Reasoning thinking trap. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Essentially,
this is when <i><u>“we assume the way we feel is the way things really are, not looking
at the situation objectively or taking in to account all elements<sup><span style="font-size: xx-small;">1</span></sup></u></i>”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This can have overwhelming long term effects
on future relationships, and even interactions. So, please, never internalise
when you’re hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether it’s a friend,
a therapist, a charity (Relate are amazing with this) or just writing down your thoughts. It’s better in that
out hun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">You could also be like me and send the above </span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">😉</span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given, this is not my norm but it was highly therapeutic
(as aforementioned) as, sometimes, the person is just mad and has had no one to
tell them! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3lbCdP1L8V-MPurp-VFLgJdEBvBgOETDp_YQBwGr1xlMnte0bYXc9pW8_XA8hfeiJO3W-lsV1OiQj3iI5q_NtFnzcBaBbnzqer41JYapfXNJOQiC5JhvZlGBzOU82qUQLVNb_INo5g4w_/s1600/IMG_6954.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3lbCdP1L8V-MPurp-VFLgJdEBvBgOETDp_YQBwGr1xlMnte0bYXc9pW8_XA8hfeiJO3W-lsV1OiQj3iI5q_NtFnzcBaBbnzqer41JYapfXNJOQiC5JhvZlGBzOU82qUQLVNb_INo5g4w_/s1600/IMG_6954.JPG" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Don’t monetise
the memories <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Going back to types, I’m pretty sure the majority of ladies
reading this have met a <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Mr Moolah </b>or for the men, you've<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> become one for a potential lady. </b>I’m
talking earning (non-fraudulent) good money and knowing how to subtlety spend
it on the finer things in life. Lis-ten. It is not indicative of intent! I had one of the best
dates of my life with m</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Mr Moolah </b>and he</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> spending the cash to match.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He also broke up with me publicly so as to
avoid any emotions. Twice. (I was a true believer in second chances.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not so much anymore!). This is 100% a subject
for wider discussion because money and dating… whew chile!</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But ultimately, seek your own
adventures.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, there is joy in being
treated, especially when you are being wooed, or wanting to woo.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, money will never beat strength of character.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you truly are looking for something
intentional, focus primarily on that and the memories that come with it.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will wildlings flee in
the same amount of time. Habits aren’t easier to change but I hope some of my
learnings become your own, should you find yourself in situations where you
feel unsure. Mainly, I promise, if you’re
going through it now, it does get better. Winter shall not come for us no more!</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif;"><o:p>SB xx </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If
you've enjoyed reading this please follow <b><u><a href="https://www.instagram.com/lifewithoutspanxs/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121;">@lifewithoutspanxs</span></a></u></b> or
the hashtag <b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/theintentionalseries/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121; text-decoration: none;">#TheIntentionalSeries</span></a></b>. All
opinions and interactions are welcome; let’s get a discussion going!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />
<sup>1</sup><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/in-the-face-adversity/201107/avoid-thinking-traps" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121; text-decoration: none;"><b><span id="goog_821818417"></span>Psychology Today<span id="goog_821818418"></span></b></span></a> (Avoid
Thinking Traps)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK
HERE FOR VOL 1 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol1.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121;">Be Intentional</span></a></u></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK
HERE FOR VOL 2 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol2.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #212121;">The Importance of Chemistry</span></a></u></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK
HERE FOR VOL 3 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/12/theintentionalseriesvol3.html" target="_blank">Making The First Move</a></span></u></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b></span></span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 5 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/03/theintentionalseriesvol5.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Everyday is Therapy (dealing with heartbreak and going to therapy)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5073509 -0.1277582999999822351.1912379 -0.77320529999998222 51.8234639 0.51768870000001777tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-5770679969802575382018-12-18T14:37:00.002+00:002019-09-05T14:49:03.347+01:00SBisms™: The Intentional Series Vol. 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">87 words. 3 profiles. One click. In logical terms, that’s all it’ll take to turn the above paragraph into shooting Lebron-scale shots into the hoops of three eligible bachelors I’ve been admiring for a while. Whilst my words are an amalgamation of why I’m interested in these three men *insert cheeky face here*, the sentiments are the same. I would body-pop with (silent) excitement if I were to go on a date with any one of them. However, in this current dating climate, the conversion to “let’s go on a date” seems less likely than if Lebron asked me out himself. Which leads me to the wider question of the lead up to the date; more specifically, making the first move. </span><br />
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<b style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>The many ‘definitions’ of making the first move </u></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I come from the school of thought that men should make the first move. From my experience, half the fun for men is in the pursuit, in addition to most men (but not all!) becoming more decisive about their feelings if they roll up to a lady first (or slide in the DMs, word to Yo Gotti). However, it seems some of us ladies (but not all!) haven’t been very kind over the years. I cannot deny, the stories I’ve heard from friends give new meaning to the word swerve. So I appreciate where men may be reluctant to instigate conversation. However, where I am harlem shaking in annoyance is the alternative methods that seem to have crept up in recent years. Let me list a few: </span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">> <b style="text-decoration-line: underline;">“I’m Still Assessing”</b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> : So you’ve made a few comments on the grid. Slid in the DMs on a conversational p with flirting to match. But after a month it’s still “Hi, WYD?”. Darling, this is not Israelite journey to relationship. Please grab your meat and two veg, make a judgement call and your intentions known! </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">(Disclaimer: if you have a partner, and you want to slide in the DM in the same manner, don’t. Keep the same energy and write it on the grid. Put some respect on your relationship’s name!) </i></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>> <u>Snapchat</u></b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> : Bros, I’m going to need you to ask for the number with your chest. If you’re asking sis for the Snapchat with a serious intent, trust me she doesn’t feel the same. It’s either you’re angling for the nudes or she’s angling for some Loubs but you’re both going to lose. </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>> <u>Hot & Cold on the Comms</u></b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">: Many a time, good women have been dissed and dismissed by a lack of consistent communication. If no one has told you before, let me spell it out for you; when you say you’re busy and/or show minimal effort, we’re going to take it as you’re not really interested and/or you’re not ready for a serious relationship. So really, what are you doing with your In’N’Out chat? I can’t speak for all, but for the good, kind, considerate women still out there, we’re not the burger joint that you can dip in and out, quick and messy. Bih. Make the effort if you’re really interested from the onset or keep it Kanye cancelled. </span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ladies, however, it’s not all down to the men (Shock! Horror! A woman is committing this belief to writing!). Some of this non-committal behaviour has stemmed from the actions (or reactions) we’ve had. I’m guilty of some of these things myself so no finger pointing here, just a few truths to be admitted: </span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><b>> </b></i><b style="text-decoration-line: underline;"><u>Say what you mean & mean what you say</u></b>: We’ve all had it ; a guy comes up to you and strikes up a conversation, eventually asking for your number but you know, even if you’re single, your heart is booked and busy. Be honest and say no (politely of course). I know, some guys are mad persistent, but if you don’t have the determination whilst you’re single, how do you build the habit when you’re in a relationship? Two of the many things I’ve learnt over the years are <b>1</b>. Our intuition rarely fails us and <b>2</b>. What God has meant for us will never elude us. So don’t be a waste-his-time!</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>> <u>“This ain’t it”</u></b>: So you’ve completely ignored my advice and given him your number (or possibly you were on the fence, I can accept both :P). Once you’re sure that this ain’t it - be honest and let them know. Whether male or female, <i>“people who ghost are primarily focused on avoiding their own emotional discomfort and aren’t thinking about how it makes the other person feel”</i><sup><span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "segoe ui" , sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 106%;">1</span></sup>. Ladies, let’s hold ourselves here to the same standards we scream men should meet; when it’s not working for you, cut the chapter short and, more importantly, tell them why. </span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b> ></b> <b><u>“Hungry ain’t happy”</u></b>: Have you ever gone on a date simply because you know he’ll take you somewhere fancy and pay? I have. Ended up in Zizzi and he wore Nike Air Force 1s because we were going somewhere ‘fancy’. Let’s not do it to ourselves. I’ll refer to <b><span style="color: blue;"><a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol2.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><i>Vol. 2 of the Intentional Series</i></a> </span></b>here; the level of interest should stems from the person not what they offer. Not only are you essentially wasting your own time if things don’t work out, you could be playing with someone’s future happiness, as could another with your future partner. Hold yourself to the level of Queen you are and can be.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Making The First Move: Just for the men? </u></b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY3mRhyA6B8wRdBItC4AfVQDR8rgdjVuiQRjB9t5Q2Li8aDdbYZYJptLxiBCwaZw_M3q_n7rEOdvZrBYHx2_F7JczAgMcvs9rDvPVrWgbqUnfnZPScBm-Lhm1fTqB0KvgPMf8FMYXOMmOJ/s1600/IMG_6135.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY3mRhyA6B8wRdBItC4AfVQDR8rgdjVuiQRjB9t5Q2Li8aDdbYZYJptLxiBCwaZw_M3q_n7rEOdvZrBYHx2_F7JczAgMcvs9rDvPVrWgbqUnfnZPScBm-Lhm1fTqB0KvgPMf8FMYXOMmOJ/s1600/IMG_6135.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now we’ve got that out the way, back to shooting your shot. Again, I come from the school of thought that men should make the first move. How-ever. There is room for a woman to take the lead without disturbing the natural balance. Case in point: my experience with <b>#BusBae</b> (I do love a good Bae story 😉). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the way to work one day (looking a fresh mess by the way), I encountered a guy who was, quite literally, gorgeous. Let me tell you, that beard alone would have made hair follicles worldwide proud. I wasn’t brave enough to speak to him, but I did (unashamedly) take a little snippet of him to <b>a.</b> prove to myself I wasn’t dreaming and <b>b.</b> give hope to some of the forlorn ladies that this level of symmetrical beauty still exists. Okay, I play, but I had to share my discovery with others. This was duly rewarded with not only a friend knowing who he was but a chance to connect with him on the ‘gram. Honestly, I ummmed and ahhhhed about whether to add his profile; it would be obvious I’d done it for an aesthetic reason, given that I didn’t know him nor was he in the public forum. Then I paused. Here was a guy I was into and could potentially have something in common with and he didn’t know who I was. Why not give him the opportunity to see if he liked me too? By no means was I planning to then bombard him with messages (although he did like my witty line when we connected – result!) but there is still grace in positioning and openness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I know this is not fresh news to some of the ladies reading this. However, if you’re like me, I do think there is still more scope for us to widen the opportunity for men to make the first move, especially when we actually want them to. Whilst rejection is not completely off the table, it gives both parties, if nothing else, the chance to have an enlightening conversation with someone new. Should nothing come of it; that’s okay. Trust me, there is something to be learnt in every experience. I didn’t necessarily get the exact response I wanted from <b>#BusBae </b>but the situation showed me that positive things can happen if you are willing to try something different. Even if it goes left, you can always be proud you tried something new. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So what’s the conclusion for #Vol3? Men, don’t let rejection get the better of you. There are women (like me!) who still respect a man for trying. Trust me, I know it’s not easy, but your boldness will be rewarded. Ladies, let’s be open. Not just in our understanding of self, and trusting our intuition, but creating opportunities for guys to make the first move. Or even making it yourself if that’s what you want to do; no shame in your game! Remember, ladies and gents; got to have something to tell the kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">If you've enjoyed reading this please follow <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lifewithoutspanxs/" target="_blank"><b><i>@lifewithoutspanxs</i></b></a> or the hashtag <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/theintentionalseries/" target="_blank"><b><i>#TheIntentionalSeries</i></b></a>. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">All opinions and interactions are welcome; let’s get a discussion going!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SB xx</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 1 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES<b>: <a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol1.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Be Intentional</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 2 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES<b>: <a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol2.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Importance of Chemistry</a></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 4 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/01/theintentionalseriesvol4.html" target="_blank">The 101 (the basics of dating)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 5 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/03/theintentionalseriesvol5.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Everyday is Therapy (dealing with heartbreak and going to therapy)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 106%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Sources:</span><sup>1 </sup></span></span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/insight-is-2020/201703/is-it-possible-be-too-sexually-attracted-someone" style="border: none; color: #111111; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><b>Psychology Today</b></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> - </span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" target="_blank">This is why ghosting hurts so much</a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5073509 -0.1277582999999822351.1912379 -0.77320529999998222 51.8234639 0.51768870000001777tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-13721634304154730472018-11-11T13:56:00.000+00:002019-09-05T14:46:16.839+01:00SBisms™: The Intentional Series Vol. 2<br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What do TLC, Sir-Mix-A-Lot and Aaliyah have in common?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At some stage in their musical career,
they’ve all sang about me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I
confess:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can be a bit of a creep, I
like butts and I cannot lie and age ain’t nothing but a number… between 27 and
35 though because, you know, I’m still someone’s auntie. But tall, bearded, and
chocolate-covered? Darling, you had me at breathing. My preferences have been
refined over the years (thank God I’ve overcome the
‘Men-doing-acrobats-with-the-English-language’ season) but one element I will
debate until the end is the necessity for chemistry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why, you ask?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let me delve in using 3 core elements.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Have you ever met someone and felt an instant attraction?
Somewhat intense, no? Or the opposite, where the person is ‘your type on paper’
but something just isn’t clicking? Chemistry, fundamentally, is
biological.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst human nature may
spark lust at first sight (testosterone and estrogen striving for that family
tree!), what ultimately drives us to actively pursue a partner are the much
more intentional dopamine and norepinephrine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Like achieving a personal best at the gym or meeting a work goal, our
brain rewards us with these “chemical claps” when we feel we’ve achieved
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this case, being with
someone you are actively interested in, rather than auntie Ronke’s Oga of the Week
or an easy beat, adds more to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t
feel like you have to settle or devalue your ability to have something real;
you’re a premium ting!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my
favourite experiences of this was the last guy I felt an instant attraction
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you know me, you’ll know I am a
chatty patty at the best of times but I was rendered so speechless I couldn’t
even say his name properly. A group of us hung out over the course of two
nights; 3 playlists, 2 shots of patrons and one swimming pool later, we shared
a steamy kiss that I still think of and smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whilst pursuing him was far from my mind, I did feel comfortable to
share my attraction with him, no reciprocal required, and it actually opened up
admission and action on his part – result! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mild kiss-memory digression aside, where the physicality of
attraction bears some fruit, I do also advocate that chemistry cannot remain
purely biological.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To continue any
interaction just on physical attraction has no real longevity, which is where
<b>mentality</b> comes into play.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">MENTALITY</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;">Before I’m bashed with heckles of </span><i style="color: #212121;">“hypocrisy!”</i><span style="color: #212121;">, let me
preemptively counteract with one word: balance. Like the quote above,
chemistry can be rewarding in its purest form but what gives it its true
purpose is its emotional counterpart. In the same way we are all deserving of physical
chemistry, emotionally being attuned with someone brings depth to your interactions.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">To quote Uncle Ne-Yo </span><i style="color: #212121;">“a movement by myself, a
force when we’re together”.</i><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">However,
this comes with the right frame on mind.</span><span style="color: #212121;">
</span><span style="color: #212121;">Bringing </span><b style="color: #212121;">#SwimBae</b><span style="color: #212121;"> back in the mix (he’d love that), whilst that
foundational chemistry was A1, emotionally we clicked in some areas and were
polarised in others. However, what I think was our biggest learning curve was
understanding that chemistry or attraction, is not for power play.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">I remember attending an amazing programme
called</span><b style="color: #212121;"><i> <a href="https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/relate-the-unwritten-rules-of-dating-relating-tickets-50876837992">Relate</a>
</i></b><span style="color: #212121;">in 2016 and Pastor Bimbo saying a sentence that has stayed with me ever since; “There
are relationships that are independent, there are relationships that are
dependent.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">What you want is a
relationship which is interdependent”.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;">To
allow emotional chemistry to flourish, there will be elements of vulnerability
to the other person.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">This can be hard,
especially if you’ve been hurt by a sexy something in the past but learn from that
past experience! Become a stronger person from it, confident in what you need
and whether you yourself possess it. Then, in time, allow yourself to be open
to another. Don’t play it safe, or worse, reach for someone who will not
challenge you and help you develop.</span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;">Let’s
create </span><a href="https://www.goalcast.com/2017/06/26/getting-113-3-types-relationships-life/" style="color: #212121;"><b><i>synergy</i></b></a><span style="color: #212121;">
in our interactions; we’re all capable of it. </span><span style="color: #212121;"> </span><span style="color: #212121;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-size: large;">SPIRITUALLY</span></span></u></b><span style="background: white; color: #212121;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">Be it demonstrated through man-made poetry or biblically, a
part of the chemistry we feel is evoked from our spirit to fulfill a loving courtship. Don’t let any Auntie Ronke hype your spirit
into believing otherwise o! The examples
I draw to for this is the Woman in the book of Song of Solomon. From the very beginning of their courtship,
the Woman is very expressive of her attraction to her partner; </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgli-dcK97G9skKp00VIhuyBNlRwMzGM2FCovqroKj8kxIsl_CnqBvJ0Ch2AvZ06_3yfFlwC8yJ7eDR-SUA3IsKzE5Eb5VmjZyvfvc9Vp01BTL2rUdkvAqAg8cLRtS0Zvn8fvS4tHW6PvV9/s1600/fc99fa3268447863b76354024b74c0a2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="1500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgli-dcK97G9skKp00VIhuyBNlRwMzGM2FCovqroKj8kxIsl_CnqBvJ0Ch2AvZ06_3yfFlwC8yJ7eDR-SUA3IsKzE5Eb5VmjZyvfvc9Vp01BTL2rUdkvAqAg8cLRtS0Zvn8fvS4tHW6PvV9/s1600/fc99fa3268447863b76354024b74c0a2.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">Firstly; d’aww! But more importantly, this is a clear example
of chemistry being a <b>driving </b>force from their first interaction to their
marriage. Even with her insecurity in
being accepted by the King, she still pressed forward and, yes, sis secured the
bag! With the challenges </span><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">that can arise from attraction and lust, I understand
why some err to the side of caution. However,
chemistry as a whole is not the issue, but a lack of understanding of needing
that balance between physically being attracted to someone and emotionally
going at the right pace. Let’s not be
dismissive of attraction as a spiritual narrative but rather gain our own
understanding of chemistry and how it can be developed healthily. I’ll end this element on this scripture:</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxHqA4ezyf40zH4784BGZZxotkiT8Vfi6_EuMMHaK-StaJSJwe8OffnowPeyA3EeYukJ5bHOljaG0S5Us6t9pxtBmqvhyphenhyphenfeASNqIUEwWA85oac3CmYx47bErNAqZBxNJxxK2cFuldu0B74/s1600/TheIntentionalSeries+quoue3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="358" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxHqA4ezyf40zH4784BGZZxotkiT8Vfi6_EuMMHaK-StaJSJwe8OffnowPeyA3EeYukJ5bHOljaG0S5Us6t9pxtBmqvhyphenhyphenfeASNqIUEwWA85oac3CmYx47bErNAqZBxNJxxK2cFuldu0B74/s1600/TheIntentionalSeries+quoue3.png" /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">God’s got you, boo.</span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0DaKA5oHXrrTIGd_OZFm46KZN5I2Wfvdpy68z1S5wNtv57hAnB2DhOYLV1efcnBGKueG13tlQtY5tHB2ADu_Rzn0r63cxS3Gij84yXFzAOnX2wZCiq-FkCzixi_sVVsRWhgPnS8RIReDJ/s1600/IMG_6252.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1151" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0DaKA5oHXrrTIGd_OZFm46KZN5I2Wfvdpy68z1S5wNtv57hAnB2DhOYLV1efcnBGKueG13tlQtY5tHB2ADu_Rzn0r63cxS3Gij84yXFzAOnX2wZCiq-FkCzixi_sVVsRWhgPnS8RIReDJ/s1600/IMG_6252.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So let’s conclude; we’re down with che-mis-try? I hope this
answer is “yeah, you know me!”. Chemistry is not just physical, nor emotional
and not doused in sin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The multifaceted nature
of attraction allows for everyone to make it their own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s essential to understand is the role
chemistry plays in developing better relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background: white; color: #212121;">If you've enjoyed reading this please follow <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lifewithoutspanxs/" target="_blank"><b><i>@lifewithoutspanxs</i></b></a> or the hashtag <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/theintentionalseries/" target="_blank"><b><i>#TheIntentionalSeries</i></b></a>. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121;">All opinions and interactions are welcome; let’s get a discussion going!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sources: <a href="http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/" target="_blank"><b>Harvard University</b></a> (<i>Physicality</i>), <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/insight-is-2020/201703/is-it-possible-be-too-sexually-attracted-someone" target="_blank"><b>Psychology Today</b></a> (<i>Mentality</i>)</span><br />
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 1 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES<b>: <a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol1.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Be Intentional</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 3 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES:<b> <a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/12/theintentionalseriesvol3.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Making The First Move</a></b></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 4 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/01/theintentionalseriesvol4.html" target="_blank">The 101 (the basics of dating)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 5 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/03/theintentionalseriesvol5.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Everyday is Therapy (dealing with heartbreak and going to therapy)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.5073509 -0.1277582999999822351.1912379 -0.77320529999998222 51.8234639 0.51768870000001777tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-36315704962309827842018-11-11T12:31:00.000+00:002019-09-05T14:42:48.285+01:00SBisms™: The Intentional Series Vol. 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYPo0f4x20mHgqk4-3fxPNeweeZYbaUDLRMVDhpTYIpyneTR9wg6sEDBa3rPwZfx4xeWmCQWXLypOs8qpNfVfGcYEqpVc2w0hjnfbtGfUnMbpSEstvFLVTnGAcZBC4vWWrzEuFTAn350_Z/s1600/51a40d43443d7030aabac384ad2f5ddc.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="142" data-original-width="505" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYPo0f4x20mHgqk4-3fxPNeweeZYbaUDLRMVDhpTYIpyneTR9wg6sEDBa3rPwZfx4xeWmCQWXLypOs8qpNfVfGcYEqpVc2w0hjnfbtGfUnMbpSEstvFLVTnGAcZBC4vWWrzEuFTAn350_Z/s1600/51a40d43443d7030aabac384ad2f5ddc.png" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpuaUH8IX9foIJhD0BoyfyXuaXEBs_OS-dw4pK9FkBljBhAjWxFZB6Lh2wOifnAamsOXx00dYGrxSinBPKtuD8hKGLw_Bz3gEzk0Wi8McYKW78vYj6XwKer9lCgWsf5Pg2RysVw_eGX_J9/s1600/TheIntentionalSeries+quoue4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="190" data-original-width="1500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpuaUH8IX9foIJhD0BoyfyXuaXEBs_OS-dw4pK9FkBljBhAjWxFZB6Lh2wOifnAamsOXx00dYGrxSinBPKtuD8hKGLw_Bz3gEzk0Wi8McYKW78vYj6XwKer9lCgWsf5Pg2RysVw_eGX_J9/s1600/TheIntentionalSeries+quoue4.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How would I describe the dating world right now for the average woman in her mid/late twenties? Hmmm. It’s like your wig falling off in the middle of a dancefloor at a house party. In front of your crush. And the girl who reported you to Pastor for not covering your arms in church and got you kicked off the ushering team. Who coincidentally is dating your crush. Which you find out as the three of you watch your Peruvian bundles making a break for freedom across the room. <span style="font-size: large;"><b>WILD.</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbwnTSry2tlyjN_rdhUqihldTDnWLbofnemndeTaPbr5B5gEYGqOdmAt7zrM9xxG17lN7JIi986byyzvwY3qHB36JYlPkDF_1a-KhOzeEZza3Cus8E3LPjdrifGPftfgsdp7anjb0XBwCN/s1600/2m2oe8.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbwnTSry2tlyjN_rdhUqihldTDnWLbofnemndeTaPbr5B5gEYGqOdmAt7zrM9xxG17lN7JIi986byyzvwY3qHB36JYlPkDF_1a-KhOzeEZza3Cus8E3LPjdrifGPftfgsdp7anjb0XBwCN/s1600/2m2oe8.gif" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dating is not called the Jungle for nothing. And the issue is
not so much navigating through the landmines to meet a great guy, as most of us
have a FBI agent-friend worth their weight in Instataps and LinkedIn navigation
(wildlings wears suits too; quote me).
It’s more.. well, it’s that, sometimes, stepping on the landmines seems
the better option because at least they give a reaction. Not that anyone wants to come and kill
themselves, God forbid. But the lack of
chat/honesty/ability to build a relationship has grown exponentially in recent
years and a somewhat-young G is tiyad. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Of course, I’m still hopeful. I fully subscribe to the belief that not all
men are the same, would post up with ‘Black Men Don’t Cheat’ all up on my
shirt-shirt-shirt. However, bearded baes, professional poobears, sexy
singleboos, the ladies and I have conferred and we’re going to help you
out. Not that I can put it all on the
men. Ladies, it’s time we have a virtual
group chat too. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeft3FdZZz6q5kB30QKPwuqnZEfKvl2hiBQ3fe-hPixq0wY_eqpfMig7hEFpocxhkKdszGpb5FRuPTOmW5occmfuNPR6C6AJwWDofDaGJp_Kb7XY0HAJM55iGtiRop_DqBr4hQzoOl3Z21/s1600/IMG_6505%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeft3FdZZz6q5kB30QKPwuqnZEfKvl2hiBQ3fe-hPixq0wY_eqpfMig7hEFpocxhkKdszGpb5FRuPTOmW5occmfuNPR6C6AJwWDofDaGJp_Kb7XY0HAJM55iGtiRop_DqBr4hQzoOl3Z21/s1600/IMG_6505%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;">These were the 3 things I promised myself I do when I finally
decided to write <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/theintentionalseries/?hl=en" target="_blank"><b><i>#TheIntentionalSeries</i></b></a> (follow on Instagram!). </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All jokes aside, over my years of dating and conversations, most especially in the last year, there are tangible gems I’ve learnt and want to share. </span><span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;">Intentional is a word I’ve been praying on since the beginning of this
year. However, it was the 3 practical
steps to being intentional, shared by </span><span style="color: blue;"><b><i><a href="https://www.instagram.com/londonfellowship/?hl=en" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@londonfellowship</a>,</i></b> </span><span style="color: #212121;">which</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> really brought it
home. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_YdukQ0UOj15qo1Yy1Y9M-FlLC5xCz7SdtTiQgPjsiUgspds4PuQTtjrENGqVR6BqdH-MYbLdE0uBKeNuxsKeq-3FbbrQk1nqUnbtvUm-66KesBtXX7lFQlWDq74I5LqkLKFeQByR8w5c/s1600/TheIntentionalSeries+quoue5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="201" data-original-width="1135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_YdukQ0UOj15qo1Yy1Y9M-FlLC5xCz7SdtTiQgPjsiUgspds4PuQTtjrENGqVR6BqdH-MYbLdE0uBKeNuxsKeq-3FbbrQk1nqUnbtvUm-66KesBtXX7lFQlWDq74I5LqkLKFeQByR8w5c/s1600/TheIntentionalSeries+quoue5.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #212121;">My main aim? To contribute to a new
conversation which simply keeps it 100%.
Keeps us in constant understanding and accountable for our actions. Because in whatever form it takes, we all
deserve true happiness and peace but we firstly hold the ability to make that happen.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So over the next 4 posts, I’ll be looking at some of the
issues we face whilst dating, putting my own Sarahism spin and storytelling on
it. I hope you laugh, you may even cry but, most of all, I want those who are single and reading this to know: you’re not
alone in your experiences. All opinions
and interactions are welcome; follow me on <b><i>@lifewithoutspanxs </i></b>and let’s get a
discussion going!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 2 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES<b>: <a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/11/theintentionalseriesvol2.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Importance of Chemistry</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 3 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES:<b> <a href="https://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2018/12/theintentionalseriesvol3.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Making The First Move</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 4 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/01/theintentionalseriesvol4.html" target="_blank">The 101 (the basics of dating)</a></span></span></u></b></div>
<span style="background: white; color: #212121; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">CLICK HERE FOR VOL 5 OF THE INTENTIONAL SERIES: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><span style="color: #212121; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #212121;"><a href="http://www.lifewithoutspanxs.com/2019/03/theintentionalseriesvol5.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Everyday is Therapy (dealing with heartbreak and going to therapy)</a></span></span></u></b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-10859199055670135372018-08-14T23:18:00.000+01:002018-08-15T14:21:00.392+01:00SBism™: This One's a Game Changer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAiDtxOH3eS_VfomVCKUsK7Wm3aXeghVszqNi7MkauOEQqmILvKa0nXpbbXKVJjn66Vwu0IswaspmuCAnEOkLBiujZCqwY9Mgy6ogzrK_jkrdk2nomvV8ll5PDAL-W5nJB7H8pyAsFaqB2/s1600/IMG_1405.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAiDtxOH3eS_VfomVCKUsK7Wm3aXeghVszqNi7MkauOEQqmILvKa0nXpbbXKVJjn66Vwu0IswaspmuCAnEOkLBiujZCqwY9Mgy6ogzrK_jkrdk2nomvV8ll5PDAL-W5nJB7H8pyAsFaqB2/s1600/IMG_1405.JPG" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve never considered myself conventional.</span></b><br />
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Sure, I’ve been through similar growing pains to most of the women on this earth. But deep down, I’ve always known there was something different about me. To date, I still can’t put my finger on what makes me unique but one thing I’m certainly starting to accept; it’s special. More importantly, it’s to be celebrated.<br />
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This year I set myself a goal; to try and harness my individuality into something I could share with the world. With that, I’ve had to deal with some painful truths and emotional realisations, mixed with a Sarah-sized dose of the usual ‘<i>how on Earth did you get into that situation?!</i>’ scenarios. Thank God I can smile about it now! All lessons to be learnt from. However, I was still struggling to find the inner peace I know I need to truly capture my words, my way.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1JkBu2-ymQxWFz_53Jus0EZTfHMCOjNR3iVbKilAaPNOSiqJolOqijRI27eFROHZ4q7F4sUm6n0uEzgy5T3QF3RR2kfIqnZOLp2bsH5ii3BleVM89vOE59fSWmtsjbWijddGDMdudzLZY/s1600/IMG_5706.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1JkBu2-ymQxWFz_53Jus0EZTfHMCOjNR3iVbKilAaPNOSiqJolOqijRI27eFROHZ4q7F4sUm6n0uEzgy5T3QF3RR2kfIqnZOLp2bsH5ii3BleVM89vOE59fSWmtsjbWijddGDMdudzLZY/s1600/IMG_5706.JPG" /></a></div>
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My peace is heavily influenced by my environment so, to tackle the issue, I took some time off work, shut myself off from the world and started to rebuild my sanctum. Passing on that dress-that- makes-my ass-look-amazing-but-is-highly-age-inappropriate to the next curious teen venturing past the charity shop, rediscovering some gems in my vast book collection and taking my affirmation wall to the next level; I did it all. It’s amazing how God works though. After the 3rd day straight of assembling new drawers and bookshelves, lying on the floor sticky, sweaty and pretty flipping exhausted, the realisation hit me. <b>I wasn’t at peace with myself because I simply stopped taking the time to appreciate just how unique I could be when I put my mind to it</b>. The little touches brought such joy to my heart. Geeky, hopeful, strong,<span style="font-size: medium;"> <b><u>beautiful</u></b></span><b>.</b> A task I’d seen as a means to an end had become therapy.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4TEuZf1q-qi2ypRBj_7Yo5NELE9NKXw-mrGU8sGIa_p8gdZYDGBTDMC9ffaXAjqrK49PUt4YTez5M5ow2aUfv6QfIn3GCrznBTF8iBwMgx7_lJWKTTN3rJ3EUG1TqUCkFARZ651q-ztvi/s1600/IMG_5701.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4TEuZf1q-qi2ypRBj_7Yo5NELE9NKXw-mrGU8sGIa_p8gdZYDGBTDMC9ffaXAjqrK49PUt4YTez5M5ow2aUfv6QfIn3GCrznBTF8iBwMgx7_lJWKTTN3rJ3EUG1TqUCkFARZ651q-ztvi/s1600/IMG_5701.JPG" /></a></div>
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Therapy, by Cambridge definition:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>“a treatment that helps someone feel better, grow stronger, etc., especially after an illness”. </i></b></blockquote>
But, in this day and age, who stops to consider a lack of self-care as an illness? The priorities may be different but the hustle to keep them all afloat is still the same; the feeling of failure when something drops universal. Finding the balance in life is so precarious that, try as I might, there is no surefire way I could explain to those reading this how to get the same realisation I did, and make it applicable to your o wnlife. Because we do that, don’t we? Try to apply this-one-size-fits-all solution to fixing our inner issues. Having said that, I do have one piece of advice I think everyone should take:<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Do not be ashamed if you are still on your journey to discovering you</span></b></div>
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Your personal balance will come along with your journey and, hopefully, your own inner peace moment. I’m nearing the big 3-Oh! but I’ve learnt more about myself in the last 6 months then I have in years. I’m more proud of even the smallest achievements because I know the huge strides I’ve taken to reach there. Not for one second do I write this having turned a huge corner in fully appreciating myself. Knowing me, that moment is imminent. For now though, I’ve enjoying the new foundation I’ve laid in rediscovering who I am and how great I will be.<br />
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SB xx</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-33555343188841521892018-05-19T00:40:00.001+01:002018-05-19T08:31:42.597+01:00SBism™: Am I Allowed to take the Crown? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmDdmjzknbk7WTSQ0Sh7RxpvOn17iTamCWK-yug8b2wboWa42AKD2qUhvlbuagSXyDGpRNpidw2TibQ6UgRhv_6PxujhVS0hGccPTJP_VZWnCbOjXaVdWvgAQo31kW9HBP8W82gxKyjbb6/s1600/IMG_8376.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmDdmjzknbk7WTSQ0Sh7RxpvOn17iTamCWK-yug8b2wboWa42AKD2qUhvlbuagSXyDGpRNpidw2TibQ6UgRhv_6PxujhVS0hGccPTJP_VZWnCbOjXaVdWvgAQo31kW9HBP8W82gxKyjbb6/s1600/IMG_8376.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>
2018 has been an amazing shit year so far. </b></span><br />
No, the grammatical flaw, oxymoronic phrasing and swift use of profanity is not by sheer accident. I’ve found undiluted joy in throwing away new clothes and cried silently at night during the best holiday of my life. <b>The confusion is HD real.</b> Like a sledgehammer, 29 swung into my life. I like the terminology “29 Like Fine Wine”. However, I certainly needed a few moments to overcome the bottle repeatedly smashing into my proverbial skull before drinking the sweet mind-altering liquid (<i>she writes, on day 12 of her 30-day detox</i>). It’s all one and the same though.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk30WMBsOUaN8N7dDyRWPtRjUwc_m8j24RSIPC9ionLHRAaBbSXrTY7x7ZJIe9EDhE92R5T0bicH-CGLnLttWsGdKwpsUUP6adVxSfcF_nVGtmekGNaFTnO8RkOmmStXaeU2XeR3Wv43p_/s1600/29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk30WMBsOUaN8N7dDyRWPtRjUwc_m8j24RSIPC9ionLHRAaBbSXrTY7x7ZJIe9EDhE92R5T0bicH-CGLnLttWsGdKwpsUUP6adVxSfcF_nVGtmekGNaFTnO8RkOmmStXaeU2XeR3Wv43p_/s1600/29.jpg" /></a></div>
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Referred to some as the ‘Golden year’, my new age came with sobering thoughts of what’s next before the big 3-0. Not that I can solely attribute my feelings to my messy birthday celebration and sunglasses-and-Advil filled PPD (that’s Post Party Discussion for those not yet used to my acronym-filled vocabulary). February had me step up to new and scarily unfamiliar work challenges, March; betrayed and broken-hearted by a friend. April... well, the aforementioned crying, late night texting and sudden realisations sumed that bad boy birthday month all the way up. But I cannot lament over the first part of this convoluted year. At my big old age, wahala, or challenges, cannot come without looking for the lessons learnt. Mine was a sombre pill to swallow; in the years leading to this moment I had become fearful.<br />
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Reliant on the opinions of others.</b><br />
<b><br />Fiercely protective of my heart from those equally scarred.</b><br />
<b><br />Shamefully accepting of my continuous internal narrative of not being good enough; good enough to lead, good enough to be loved. </b><br />
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There are many things to be said about the Spirit. One of my favourite scriptures is Philippians 4:6-7:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b> “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”</b> </blockquote>
In the two instances where my great challenge came to light (<i>watching a loved one hit a milestone from afar and seeing a past crush deal with an achingly familiar situation</i>), there was a wave of calm which immediately cloaked what would normally send me into a painfully dark spiral. Growing pains are universal. Even the smallest of steps shapes our future actions. If I held on to this fear, this challenge which had slowly driven me to take Panadol for a non-existent headache, I would allow my internal narrative to become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I would not be able to lead nor be loved because... well, because I’d be too boxed up to lead and punch out the lights of the guy attempting to love me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjtsVTeXrAqVY-X3HKMf4mR8d5_etsHDxUdpobiKG5tOiV9hQ4J87672chXNfqadLHM3ftx_xbam3NEIv-kQMj2OShiwKHMkXIumEHfKuxHJuq2y12RcOMXmFLd5ySDXvIDr-xS0SBBJT_/s1600/PHOTO-2018-05-05-23-26-23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="741" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjtsVTeXrAqVY-X3HKMf4mR8d5_etsHDxUdpobiKG5tOiV9hQ4J87672chXNfqadLHM3ftx_xbam3NEIv-kQMj2OShiwKHMkXIumEHfKuxHJuq2y12RcOMXmFLd5ySDXvIDr-xS0SBBJT_/s1600/PHOTO-2018-05-05-23-26-23.jpg" /></a></div>
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Forgive and forget. Three words which hold so much weight in this day and age. Words, I’m sure some of you have also struggled with. What I can say is, going into the 2nd quarter, <b>these are words that will open a world some of you didn’t even realised was closed</b>. There’s no aligned route to which people take to get there. Hopefully, I have not destroyed precious bridges in coming to my own realisation now. But it’s helped me make some pretty big decisions, ones that will shape my future for sure.<b> I encourage anyone reading this, if you haven’t already, to do the same.</b> Of course, no man or woman could try to take me for an original dickhead; that time has come and gone fo’ real, fo’ real. I do know, however, that the next 9 months will finally lay some of these fears to rest. I will, by the grace of God, be allowed to take the Crown.<br />
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SB xxUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-66558645983107880202017-10-20T07:12:00.000+01:002017-10-20T11:10:02.691+01:00Feelspiration™: It's Like Candy...Red! ❤️<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsIH-8rO-KOpqNsEConSed8lULab1X0b6O-kwoOA95ToGmvdKQHjP3xYPogiK6iEX2Yc5x7zUzY0AVqC_EctHb2nAbAat-8z8J0Zheqj-BaFe2Z08vlmCqAJPU68Ut7ot0qYdFUqlSwW3L/s1600/IMG_3367.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsIH-8rO-KOpqNsEConSed8lULab1X0b6O-kwoOA95ToGmvdKQHjP3xYPogiK6iEX2Yc5x7zUzY0AVqC_EctHb2nAbAat-8z8J0Zheqj-BaFe2Z08vlmCqAJPU68Ut7ot0qYdFUqlSwW3L/s1600/IMG_3367.JPG" /></a></div>
My oh my, how 2017 has flown by! It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating the start of 2017 and we’ve now only got 2.5 months of it left! However, goals are still achievable, much so fashion as well as life ones, and thus I come with an Autumn Feelspiration™ in the form of Caaaandy. Well Candy red to be exact.<br />
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With red being de rigueur for AW17, this scintillating shade has a reason for most people to invest, so a fitting Feelspiration™. Candy red is my shade of choice as its vibrancy works particularly well with darker skin tones; perfect to spice up a mellow Autumn afternoon. As my style has developed over the years, I think colour mapping to skintone is one piece of advice that I have stayed true to. I was a full fuchsia junkie when I was younger (very indicative of my excitable nature back then!) with pop colours my partners in fashion play. However, red, whether candy, crimson or rose, strikes the perfect trifecta between elegance, simplicity and…well, pure fire! I would encourage everyone reading this to find their perfect red. It’s the colour of energy and helps boost self-empowerment, which is never a bad thing! More importantly, it evokes passion which is something I truly believe we all should have. So, whether it’s a first date, important presentation or you’re just celebrating positivity changes in your life, there is a perfect red fit out there for it. This article on <a href="http://www.ebay.co.uk/gds/How-to-Find-the-Right-Shade-Red-Dress-for-Your-Complexion-/10000000178467888/g.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><b>eBay</b></a> is a great starter guide on finding the best shade for you but be open to experimenting; everyone is unique!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXo80RfD8O9euJWbtvXaGewKssWCd-xzk17iPgCme30TNccqDeipEiTcKdvX-yJBnQFhH-Okqs4ANXHnk7PO-XkZ3bG3T4GgCbEty77gTJGfsfC_CsS8yNDbjIogYZPHbMhsduHeFPrzot/s1600/IMG_3381.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXo80RfD8O9euJWbtvXaGewKssWCd-xzk17iPgCme30TNccqDeipEiTcKdvX-yJBnQFhH-Okqs4ANXHnk7PO-XkZ3bG3T4GgCbEty77gTJGfsfC_CsS8yNDbjIogYZPHbMhsduHeFPrzot/s1600/IMG_3381.JPG" /></a></div>
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This drop hem dress was a snap purchase from <u><b><a href="http://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/gallery/primark-new-in-autumn-winter-2017" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Primark</a></b></u> whilst prepping for what turned out to be an ah-mazing weekend (shout out to Sade, SOAB & SuyaSpot!). I teamed it with thigh high boots (thighs seem to be de rigueur for me right now!) to take the edge of the mini element but I felt so free and, dare I say it, sexy! Funnily enough, I actually bumped into an ex and felt too good to care – gotta love those moments!<br />
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Although you can’t buy this dress online, I’ve curated a collection of items which will suit a variety of shapes and sizes. Click, purchase and get your red on!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAsBBc7DWjUDZtjXsRLTd_9JIYav94-4B4QOpp7mpHJZuXzLvAypX8KIDURYcwPPMH0Rk4u8i7boqndmcaZaZ9X0aJX2NPk0bLDiPD_2yzzTzGilCXaP5FT_MDVvAdr1IVrxy2CPdyO7XF/s1600/Feelspiration.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1006" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAsBBc7DWjUDZtjXsRLTd_9JIYav94-4B4QOpp7mpHJZuXzLvAypX8KIDURYcwPPMH0Rk4u8i7boqndmcaZaZ9X0aJX2NPk0bLDiPD_2yzzTzGilCXaP5FT_MDVvAdr1IVrxy2CPdyO7XF/s1600/Feelspiration.png" /></a></td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.prettyballerinas.co.uk/ella-106.html">Ella
pointed pumps</a><b> – Pretty Ballerinas<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.riverisland.com/p/red-oversized-bow-bandeau-satin-crop-top-707409">Red
Oversized Bow Bandeau Crop Top</a><b> –
River Island<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.riverisland.com/p/red-wrap-neck-sleeveless-top-711789?sem=1&cmpid=PLA&istCompanyId=28d3cba5-6749-43eb-904c-61b8cc01cf80&istItemId=xaxxipiixa&istBid=tztx&gclid=CjwKCAjwmqHPBRBQEiwAOvbR87VY5ZYs2DgS9jCGj1OxopiA2yvpHk_RypRbg-lJTI3G06d5ouv9gxoCZ5kQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds">Red
wrap neck sleeveless top</a> – <b>River Island<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://www.riverisland.com/p/red-lace-scallop-hem-pencil-skirt-708592">Red
lace scalloped hem pencil skirt</a><b> – River
Island<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.modainpelle.com/shoes-c1/high-heel-shoes-c17/cristina-red-patent-leather-p1487/s8651?utm_medium=organic&utm_term=moda-in-pelle-cristina-red-patent-leather-38-size-5-38-size-5-38-5051645523695&utm_campaign=froogle">Cristina
Red Patent Leather 38 heels</a> – <b>Moda In
Pelle<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.prettylittlething.com/red-tassel-halterneck-midi-dress.html">Red
Tassel Halterneck Midi dress</a> – <b>Pretty
Little Thing<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.boohoo.com/skye-belted-tailored-culotte/DZZ63417.html?color=157">Skye
Belted Tailored Culottes</a><b> – Boohoo<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="http://www.boohoo.com/harriet-tailored-flute-sleeve-shift-dress/DZZ40760.html?color=571">Harriet
Tailored Flute Sleeve Shift dress</a><b> –
Boohoo<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="http://www.boohoo.com/freya-military-style-blazer/DZZ43251.html?color=157">Freya
Military Style Blazer</a><b> – Boohoo<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://www.prettylittlething.com/thalia-red-crochet-lace-plunge-swing-dress.html">Red
Crochet Lace Plunge Swing Dress</a><b> –
Pretty Little Thing</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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SB x</div>
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<img alt="Related image" src="http://picsmine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/When-In-Doubt-Wear-Red-National-Wear-Red-Day.jpg" /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-51482768446794280782017-10-06T10:01:00.000+01:002018-05-09T21:48:28.390+01:00WACWW: Thigh High Slit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKtO8ovLXEwAghc8P-Yx0c3mR3WSC2AlD_zMkdhIBjj7H2En1tpYVLsFIoMPHHc3pgmw5fxeER6O8VJaoO0u6IaAZV2v1S7witbF_6D_v9PRosikwxniD0S_Ax0Muse4QP4O3ulz8Sk8l/s1600/IMG_5385.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKtO8ovLXEwAghc8P-Yx0c3mR3WSC2AlD_zMkdhIBjj7H2En1tpYVLsFIoMPHHc3pgmw5fxeER6O8VJaoO0u6IaAZV2v1S7witbF_6D_v9PRosikwxniD0S_Ax0Muse4QP4O3ulz8Sk8l/s1600/IMG_5385.JPG" /></a></div>
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Yo yo yo, greetings from an island in the middle of Western Europe! It was been a minute since I've done a WACWW (What A Curvy Woman Wants for all the newbies) but I'm back and I'm better :) Keeping it 100% honest, I've had a hard time with my fluctuating weight and drastic change in an ever hectic lifestyle so I've not been inspired to take some Life Without Spanxs-worthy posts. However, like a hardworking woman should, I whisked myself away from the hustle and bustle of London and took some time to give myself some love. Et voila, this WACWW is the result!<br />
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So, I don't know about anyone else but I am absolutely LOVIN' Pretty Little Thing right now! Somehow I missed the memo when it stopped catering for the modelesque statue and decided to throw some curve hugging pieces in the mix, but I am here for it! For the longest time, I've wanted a maxi dress with a thigh slit for the gawds and amidst my<strike> hoarding </strike> purchases on the site I came across this gem., it's so hard to find a dress where the slit doesn't look like it's trying to cut shapes on your body, but this dress is as graceful on the curves as it is beautiful on the eye. I tanned whilst away so the burnt orange gave me delicious vibes against the tan but, like any great retailer, they have an array of colours, suitable for many skin tones.<br />
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You can purchase the dress <a href="https://www.prettylittlething.com/cobalt-extreme-split-strappy-back-maxi-dress.html" target="_blank"><b>here</b></a> but if you're looking for something a tad more demure, this <a href="http://www.asos.com/forever-unique/forever-unique-wrap-thigh-high-split-maxi-dress/prd/7644104?clr=magneta&SearchQuery=thigh+high+slit&pgesize=11&pge=0&totalstyles=11&gridsize=3&gridrow=3&gridcolumn=1" target="_blank"><b>Forever Unique</b></a> dress is also recommended, with a drape forgiving of many sins.<br />
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Right, off to get my Angelina Jolie leg pose on!<br />
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SB xx<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-86247860511497436902017-10-06T09:34:00.000+01:002018-05-09T21:42:14.459+01:00SBism™: An Open Letter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZN5Rotva-WAAHwQJNYujikkFYAvxr982Fb2NWrmuDs0gKk66fiGKXLDPcMVLJsevcSaKQEQlvNI5d6JE2_xty7P5Ev4yxto4Uy3lnRV9NuFQLXrm8n9RN3CkZaZYDNVHaLrfRwBYeY3W/s1600/IMG_5187.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZN5Rotva-WAAHwQJNYujikkFYAvxr982Fb2NWrmuDs0gKk66fiGKXLDPcMVLJsevcSaKQEQlvNI5d6JE2_xty7P5Ev4yxto4Uy3lnRV9NuFQLXrm8n9RN3CkZaZYDNVHaLrfRwBYeY3W/s1600/IMG_5187.JPG" /></a><br />
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Hey body,<br />
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How do I capture our journey? From pre-teen rolls and unusually large hips for a 12 year old to stumbling through puberty changes and unexpected attention. You have made me feel amazing at times and so low I want to stay in an enclosed space forever. In my ever-increasing age I am still yet to figure you out. Every time I show an inch of you to the world, I have inner anxiety that very few seem to understand. An attention-grabbing body does not equate to attention-grabbing. But as the years go on I love you more and I'm okay to own you. Your stomach is far too big by any of my demands and I've violently pinched you with wishes for that part of disappear, gym, diet and all. I legit think I can fly with your triceps, with your cooperation on looking toned having been approximately 2 times in my adult life. Your bum; the epitome of the revolution against fitting into a pair of any trousers.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDOuE-RdGdFCL_rZGd5A2k5w7cIvVykyJo-sAHCo_xjd3XsiUsQHWp3mSplfoF-3qlEJ34R9SREzmsHx04C5MoQKK1_yGzja9jQwKD04BBHD18JJ6F23UyFJVc1N5e1GverlfOu_s-QkL7/s1600/IMG_5112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDOuE-RdGdFCL_rZGd5A2k5w7cIvVykyJo-sAHCo_xjd3XsiUsQHWp3mSplfoF-3qlEJ34R9SREzmsHx04C5MoQKK1_yGzja9jQwKD04BBHD18JJ6F23UyFJVc1N5e1GverlfOu_s-QkL7/s1600/IMG_5112.JPG" /></a><br />
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But your skinny little ankles have supported me when men have broken my heart for not having you and women have shamed me for not understanding you. Despite the aggravation I give you to mould you into an idea of 'perfect', your broken knees have had enough strength to get down on onto the ground and join my voice and mind in prayer. You keep me warm through my insane stubbornness not to wrap you up and held your form long enough for me to appreciate you for who you are. Not who you were or who you will be. Who you are.<br />
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By no means can I promise I won't cry over you again or wish you had the grace of Ashley Graham or the confidence of Danielle Brooks. I'll probably still struggle to explain you for a while longer. But we are a team. We roll with the punches, the criticisms, the praise and the pains together. Thank you for your glow, your melanin making me proud to be a black woman everyday. Thank you for your patience and not giving up on me. It's truer now more than ever that we can do anything through Christ that strengthens us. And our duty? It's to remind every single person we come across that insecurities don't go in a day, habits die hard and time is a perfect healer. The struggle may not be publicised but it truly exists. But there is no way we are all still alive not to make our own impact, to build on life's little lessons everyday. I hope you enjoyed our solo trip as much as I did. It feels good to be one step closer to liberated.<br />
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Love,<br />
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SB xx<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-78600167344447057672017-08-31T10:21:00.000+01:002017-10-16T22:33:57.949+01:00SBism™: Relationship 101<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I started writing this believing, for the most part, that I do not consider myself sexy.</span> On a day-to-day basis I work with what sleep and the scales bless me with, with somewhat of a resigned understanding that hubby-to-be will really have to push through if he happens to meet me on a weekday. Moreover, when I do make an effort, I now mainly admire the fact that I've found a dress that does not require Spanxs (it is, after all, a lifestyle 😉). That geeky woman that shakes her booty in the mirror when she's alone but is too shy to do it one-on-one in front of a hot guy I most certainly am. I was so sure of my status, I looked up the definition of sexy with the intention of listing exactly how I did not fit the description. Then I read it clear as day. <span style="font-size: large;">Exciting. </span>Appealing. Attractive. I would be a liar if I didn't consider myself these things.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju9fI9D-7ej99A9SFRNyp1zOSAJdmqbrWTxPKJk4DGYD9KJRrMx7WlGpx094C_9THVsh01k23nEwe2hYLgiU7z1mMKOkyI-37TK1XAvY2_Dt-2gc_5MbkI-HR3KL8m_kUJ-S5TIhKgsmiQ/s1600/a3a7c4a0e7155149e981cff10bc0ecd5--cat-s-quotes-for-life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="357" data-original-width="552" height="412" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju9fI9D-7ej99A9SFRNyp1zOSAJdmqbrWTxPKJk4DGYD9KJRrMx7WlGpx094C_9THVsh01k23nEwe2hYLgiU7z1mMKOkyI-37TK1XAvY2_Dt-2gc_5MbkI-HR3KL8m_kUJ-S5TIhKgsmiQ/s640/a3a7c4a0e7155149e981cff10bc0ecd5--cat-s-quotes-for-life.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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My ability to hold an intelligent conversation with a man, igniting those sparks, that chemistry, with witty banter and hotly debatable topics is my definition of choice. Yet, to deny my physicality would be highly naive on my part. At least I've learnt that now. For years I've struggled, and sometimes still do struggle, with that side of me. As I've gotten older it's become clearer that attraction is subjective and if you're physically attractive to someone, there's not much you can do about turning that off completely. Put on weight? Not a huge factor. Less figure-hugging outfits? With an ass on blast and a sizeable waist:hip ratio, that notion died quicker that rice falls at a wedding. Not to put it all on the opposite sex though.<span style="font-size: large;"> I'm a sucker for chemistry.</span> Not so much about type (although my blacker berried men have got the slight jump 🍇) but the aforementioned banter can unconsciously shift into flirtation on my part if that chemistry is there. However, here's the thing about sexiness, about flirtation, about physicality in its rawest form. If you aren't aware of it, it has the ability to overwhelm. Like I mentioned before, I struggle with my own. I'm truthful in my knowledge that social media is indicative of moments in time and I am unashamedly the first to admit that my moments can be when I put the best hourglass poses forward. But those images aren't the full story. And when I connect with someone and evoke that flirtatious side to me that 'fits' my body, it's still hand in hand with the SB the homebody who could watch reruns of the Good Wife all day. Whilst the focus may be on the former side for him, my focus is always on both because I live it. In the past, I genuinely thought that the two were also evident to all but people see what works for them. And so, I find myself at the stage of trying to understand the<span style="font-size: large;"> balance</span><span style="font-size: medium;"> of flirtation</span>.<br />
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I would, again, be a liar if I said I wanted no attention. I am who I am and was fearfully and wonderfully made (thanks be to God). But there is a need to be conscious of exactly who you are, your physical impact and not letting it emit false intentions for you. Whilst I've had guys try to force the agenda, I too am, and have seen many women, guilty. Guilty of not understanding that even the most innocent of actions can play their part in placing the focus on the wrong place of a budding friendship or relationship. Not to play the blame game here. I am a firm believer that each situation is unique. But it's important to being aware of your interactions at all time. Chemistry is biological, and flirtation is psychological but sense rules all. <span style="font-size: large;">Ladies, we especially have the bigger part to play. </span>Communication is goal-orientated but patterns highlighted around communication in the form of flirting indicate that "men view flirting as more intimacy-driven whereas women are more inclined to more fun and relational motives" <b>¹</b>. A bit of a 'no-shxt-Sherlock' observation but I had to remind the ones in the back.<br />
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I wish I could advise on ways to stay conscious, like I normally do in my posts, but I haven't quite got this one figured out yet. I'd definitely say be honest at all times if things are going left and SNTCT: Say No To Community Chat. Those compliments that have done the rounds are not for you boo and should not trap you into those conversation-turning responses. I think mainly is to <span style="font-size: large;">just be real with yourself.</span> If you think it'll be misinterpreted, it probably will and if you want to take the risk then do you. But keep it 100 percent; if we ask for a man's intentions to be transparent, then so should ours.
As always, I hope this helps someone on their journey. If you'd now kindly excuse me, I'm off to practice my mirror moves.
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SB x</div>
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¹ <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/adventures-in-dating/201208/reasons-people-flirt">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/adventures-in-dating/201208/reasons-people-flirt</a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-13695087109523527132017-02-15T06:40:00.001+00:002017-02-15T06:40:36.260+00:00Spotlight: SuyaSpot<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.eventbrite.sg/e/suyasundays-by-suyaspot-tickets-31696322554" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkFfilorEOPTMtpK0fA-L0Kuqc8skSCFPRO5x_BqK706XKKyEwdbvJ4jcDwR3_DTNZGYRmEcep9sumLClVXqK07zj8j1_JzK8MmC0yA2pa789p6WoQLEC4WPECCeYULWJJaCrxklnLewL-/s1600/pjimage.jpg" /></a></div>
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The first Spotlight on Life Without Spanxs had to be different and dear readers, I’ve delivered. Switching over from fashion to food <i>*mini squeal for my fellow foodies*</i> and shining an inaugural light on the men this time, SuyaSpot is definitely a brand to be reckoned with. Headed up by brothers Tomi & Tobi Akinbolagun and Folaju ‘FJ’ Oyegbesan, the suya-centric pop-up is the perfect balance of great vibes and moreish bites, bringing the kind of spice needed to London’s cultural melting pot.<br />
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<u><a href="https://www.eventbrite.sg/e/suyasundays-by-suyaspot-tickets-31696322554" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Now about to see their 4th event come to life</span></a></u>, I can personally say how much I have enjoyed watching the brand grow and meeting the eclectic mix these gentlemen bring together.
Below, we discuss all things SuyaSpot; from the vibrancy of African heritage being at the heart of the brand to building on past experiences and personal strengths to take their events to the next level. Read on and, if you’re lucky, you may just learn a li’l something about bringing the heat to your love life.. #ChickenWingsShowCharacter<br />
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SuyaSpot: the brand</h2>
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From bar talk to building blocks.. </h3>
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<b><u>Tomi:</u></b> Well, the concept for SuyaSpot was born in a bar one Friday night in 2016. The three of us met up for drinks after work as we tend to do with a number of other friends too. Amongst many other topics of discussion, we started to talk about food and the lack of African cuisine on the London culinary scene. A few ideas were bouncing around on the kind of ventures that could potentially work and fit in to where there was existing demand. Suya was one we all had passionate ideas on, after a few back and forths we arrived at the SuyaSpot concept and name. I was particularly keen to ensure that this wasn't another idea that fell by the wayside and started investigating venues and an executable project plan. Now here we are 3 events later and still growing.<br />
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Dealing with challenges head on </h3>
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<u><b>Tomi:</b></u> The whole planning process has actually been pretty seamless and anything that may have initially appeared as a challenge we've attacked head on. Naturally, there were lessons to be learnt <br />
from our first event, which have been applied to each following event and we've seen that learning process pay off.<br />
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Support Squad goals </h3>
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<b><u>All:</u></b> We have learnt from the lessons of the first event and are not afraid to ask for a hand or two. The guys you see in the SuyaSpot badges are the SuyaSpot squad, they’re our close network of friends who are all highly skilled professionals in media, marketing, writing and cooking yet they lend us their hands, helping out in areas often outside their comfort zone to make this dream a reality, without the squad these events would be a myth. Our families have also been incredible providing us with their time, resources and much needed words of encouragement, will never forget how proud they were after that first event. And of course the fans, we love the positive vibes everyone comes with to each event. Seeing their big smiles and hearing those hearty laughs at each event, motivates us to keep on going.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">SuyaSpot: the experience </span></h3>
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<b><u>Tomi</u></b>: Food is at the centre of what we do, so this always will be the area we ensure is of the highest standard and it’s imperative that our attendees have an incredible tasting experience. Based on the feedback we've received so far, this appears to hold true. Beyond the menu, is the energy and ambience at our events. There's a soul and vibrancy to Africa and Africans when it comes to gathering. Whether that is for a meal at the dinner table or for the celebration of a life event, the vibe and soul of Africa is always tangible and this is something we're keen to capture and infuse all our events with. Each Suya Spot is such a great time and you'll enjoy more than just the food. The music and the variety in our attendees is also a unique element to each of our pop ups.<br />
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<b><u>FJ:</u></b> We want to recreate the experience of having a good home cooked meal with your family but away from your family and everyone that comes should feel right at home.<br />
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On balancing work and SuyaSpot event planning</h3>
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<b><u>Tobi:</u></b> We all work to our strengths and sharing responsibilities really helps lessen the load. My primary focus is on maintaining our identity in the food we serve which is a lot more involved than it sounds. Suya is and always will be central to what we do so my most important role is ensuring the quality of the Suya is consistently high. Each item that makes the menu needs to be thoroughly tested and refined; this can often take a month or so in and around our busy schedules. There are a couple pages of ideas, but we are currently planning the special features for our summer events, it’s going to be sensational!<br />
I am fortunate to have some flexibility around working hours, I will typically work from home the Friday before each event which helps if there are deliveries to be taken or orders to be finalised. However the bulk of the shopping and prep is done on the Saturday as we want our food to be as fresh as can be. Every SuyaSpot event has involved pulling at least one all nighter in the run up to the big day but as we learn the tricks of the trade we are becoming more efficient with prep, maybe we’ll even manage to get some sleep before the next event!<br />
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<u><b>FJ:</b></u> I am lucky enough to work for myself, so I am able to allocate as much time is needed to SuyaSpot. Also having three people dedicated to the vision helps, like Tobi said we share responsibilities and pick up the extra workload if one of us is busy or not readily available.<br />
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SuyaSpot: The men behind the machine</h2>
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Date night x SuyaSpot – let’s bring the fire! </h3>
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<u><b>Tobi:</b></u> Haha, I love this question. As you know we don't really do the whole three course thing, it's a bit too formal but if it was a really really special date with an immensely special lady then here's how it would go.<br />
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<i>Starter -</i> BBQ corn x Suya Butter, let's start the meal with something simple, sweet and fun. This is one of my favourite sides. The soft juicy corn is contrasted in parts by coal caramelised kernels, not only is it ridiculously tasty but there's also some symbolism here; the butter is going to melt all over the cob as she will in my arms by the end of the night.<br />
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<i>Main -</i> Beef Suya, our take on a timeless classic. The heat of the Suya is unencumbered. Ginger and chilli are two of my favourite spices, not only do they make the base of yaji (Suya spice) but they are also well known aphrodisiacs. That ought to heat things up and help this date along! Our cooling salad will help control the rising fires, after all we want this date to last all night.<br />
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<i>Dessert </i>- Plantain Pie. This game changing pie is making a debut at February's pop-up and is me on a plate. We’ll start from the bottom up, there’s the traditional well grounded short crust base topped with a soft, smooth, familiar but unique plantain filling finished by the hardened gold caramel crumb. All together this is a well-balanced and truly outstanding specimen.<br />
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<u><b>FJ</b></u>: Mmm... A SuyaSpot date night event this could be a new thing but back to your question.<br />
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<i>Starter -</i> I would say the Gizodo probably it’s the only thing we have on the menu that is kind of like a starter and it’s probably the easiest thing to eat on the menu at the start of the date. Imagine eating the BBQ corn x Suya Butter like you are playing the harmonica at the start of the date, it would be a madness.<br />
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<i>Main</i> – I would say a combination of the Beef Suya and Suya Wings in a sharing platter, it would be nice to see dynamic over sharing food – who goes for the last piece? Do they offer first or just grab the last wing? Also how you eat a chicken wing is crucial to character judgement, you have to see if they clean the bones, leave some bits on the bone or they chew the bone (stay away from that person!).<br />
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<i>Dessert</i> – The most important course on the date, in my opinion, when I pick a restaurant for dinner I always check the dessert first. If they have a good selection then I go. So for this SuyaSpot date it would be the new Plantain Pie, I tried the finalised recipe over the weekend and it was banging. It would be great to share with someone you like, personally I would get two cause Joey doesn’t share food.<br />
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Individual personalities can create a synergy </h3>
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<u><b>All:</b></u> It's amazing how our respective strengths compliment to make this work. Tobi is the creative one in the kitchen so everything to do with the menu from prep to presentation he's got that covered. FJ is our resident creative; his eye for aesthetics ensures our brand is consistent throughout all our platforms. He works passionately to communicate our story through his photography and design background. Tomi is the man with the plan; he gets stuff done and works on SuyaSpot to keep us all focused and moving in the right direction. We're all perfectionists in our respective areas, but it's awesome to have someone from another perspective help critique your thoughts and ideas.<br />
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Next stage for SuyaSpot.. </h3>
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<b><u>All:</u></b> With only 3 events under the belt so far, we re still newbies on the food scene, but with every event we improve and refine our offering. This year we aim to continue putting on #SuyaSundays at least once a month keeping the same consistent standard of sumptuous spicy BBQ'd food, in a warm and friendly atmosphere.<br />
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SuyaSpot in 3 words? </h2>
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<u>Tobi:</u> Family, Food, Fire | <u>FJ:</u> Passion, Legacy, Love<br /><u>Tomi:</u> Family, Heritage, Soul
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Looking forward to Sunday like the electric slide at a wedding! You can buy tickets (£3) for the next pop up this Sunday <a href="https://www.eventbrite.sg/e/suyasundays-by-suyaspot-tickets-31696322554" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a><br />
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Follow SuyaSpot on Twitter (<a href="https://twitter.com/suyaspotuk" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">@suyaspotuk</span></a>), Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/suyaspotuk/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">(SuyaSpotUK</span><span style="color: blue;">)</span></a> & Instagram (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/suyaspotuk/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">@suyaspotuk</span></a>).<br />
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Photography by Folaju Oyegbesan</h3>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-69809718635027376322017-02-15T02:41:00.000+00:002019-01-05T13:11:47.436+00:00SBism™: Deuces to #NoFlirtFebruary <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My first SBism on Life Without Spanxs isn’t what I expected it to be. It comes from a darker place which I only allow those closest to me to see. A place of self-doubt, anguish and genuine confusion. It’s a vulnerable part I like to control (for the most part) as it serves a painful purpose and can become quite indulgent, if given too much attention. But it’s somewhere I have to draw on today, if just to encourage someone else. As I write this, tears trickle onto my keyboard. Not so much for hurt but more for my blessings. I believe the best in people. It’s what I do, it’s who I am and, in an ideal world, it’s where I always encourage others to get to. Most especially in love. Men, however, have tried that blessing and made me wish I didn’t have it in the abundance that I do.<br />
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Now, if you’ve read this far down I have to clarify this feeling does not stem from a few isolated incidences on my part or those I talk to. Rather, it comes from years of observing, listening analysing and attempting to understand the value of honesty and love. For the men who this is applicable to, I’ll address you directly. Why do you lie? Is the need to fulfil that sexual gratification really that overwhelming? The drain on your karma must leave you three shades of mentally inebriated because God knows how you don’t think that shxt won’t catch up with you. I thoroughly respect a man who tells you exactly what he is simply because he shares the choices that need to be made. And the best part? Other women actually agree with me. Yes, you’re welcome. Is it the insecurity of not being accepted for who you are and ‘player prowess’ invigorating your confidence? On behalf on the ladies, I say if we like you, we know why, even amidst the eccentricities. Trust the process and be honest when you doubt yourself for a moment and potentially fxck it up. Cowardice died in the days of Scooby Doo and our childhood cartoons. Or maybe things just change and you aren’t sure anymore. Suck it up and sort it out. Time is a commodity which neither person has to waste. Peace is an even greater one. The power you may consciously (or unconsciously, through lack of communication) wield over another human will never outweigh the peace of treating others the way you want to be treated. Unless you, in turn, want to be treated like a roll on, used to cover the shxtstorm that is another woman’s inability to be honest with you. In which case, ice your relationship needs and invest in some therapy. Seriously, it’s free (<a href="https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/relationship-counselling">https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/relationship-counselling</a>).<br />
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I started this month as #NoFlirtFebruary, as my ability to see the best in people has its tendencies to be misinterpreted (and sometimes the wrong guys are still sexy AF – ladies, we’ve all been there). However, mid-way through I’ve consciously killed the notion. Why? I want to ride these growing pains out, and work out the worthy from the #WasteHerTime2017s. Just offloading these thoughts has made that a little easier already.<br />
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Though my tears have dried up, my feelings haven’t and, I suspect for some reading this, yours haven’t quite too. As much I want to end this on a quirky positive note, like I normally do, I won’t. However, I will make two vows. You are not alone. The time it takes to deal with being hurt, whether it was quick and dirty or over a longer period, works differently for everyone. But you will get through it and I’m always here if you want a chat. Honestly, no matter who you are. Second vow is that this is the last SBism I will negatively make reference to the perils of singleness and passing through that stage of life. It’s a dimension of myself I care dearly about, given my feelings on the hope in love, but it is one of many dimensions I have. In ripping the band-aid off you expose weaker sides of yourself, like I have today, but some of those sides you eventually leave to heal. Change. Rejuvenate. It’s not quite the perfect body but the battle scars give you something to tell the kids.<br />
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SB xx
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-28412035759727509322017-02-03T16:48:00.001+00:002019-02-25T23:43:56.139+00:00Life Without Spanxs!<br />
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Keeping it short and sweet - welcome to Life Without Spanxs (LWS)! I'm so happy I've finally built this platform; believe me when I say it's been a long time coming! For those who visited Gush, Gossip, Blog, my former blog, thank you so much for all your support and encouraging words. I'm proud of what I achieved with GGB and really looking forward to the next stage with LWS.<br />
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I remember the exact moment I came up with the name for this blog. I was getting ready for a night out and started freaking out because I couldn't fit into my Spanxs underwear. This was during a time when I was still less confident about my body (thankfully, that's changed now!) and I remember thinking to myself "I want to live a life without Spanxs!'. Whilst that hasn't happened yet (and may possibly never happen) it led to this journey of self-discovery. I pushed myself to 'rip the band-aid off'; developing my confidence, self-worth and accepting the weird and wonderful things that make me who I am. I'm still on the journey but my aim for LWS is to encourage others to join me. I thoroughly believe every person is born to be a creator in their own way. Discovering what it is that you're made to do, however, starts with you. So, ladies, gents, let's do this!<br />
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I'll be posting regularly on the blog under four areas (WACCW, Spotlight, Feelspiration and SBisms - more information on my homepage) as well as posting weekly on my <span style="color: blue;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/lifewithoutspanxs" target="_blank">Soundcloud</a></span> and <span style="color: magenta;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5SWUAU6h7GNsGRSDh6ds5w" target="_blank">YouTube</a></span> channels. Subscribe and let's build something together!<br />
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SB xx</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-78191378663553952652016-03-09T21:18:00.000+00:002017-02-04T09:34:55.250+00:00Regeneration: Stronger || Sexier || Cooler<br />
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Back to regular scheduling! As you can see, I decided to jump in front of the professional lens again and have some fun turning my thoughts into visuals. As much as individuality is celebrated more and more in society, it's still so easy to fall victim and believe other people's interpretations of your uniqueness. I say throw up the deuces to them! I found myself almost consumed by what others thought of me for many, many years but I'm growing more and more to love all the different parts of my personality and how I represent it outwardly.<br />
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I am still the biggest advocate of colour but I chose all black fits because I wanted it to be representative of taking it back to basics - the very essence of anyone's beauty cannot be based solely on how they look outwardly but the spirit they hold within.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> N</span>ever judge a person but their cover but by their character.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Heels - <b>Nicholas Kirkwood</b></td></tr>
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Sometimes, I want to kick it in my tee and jeans and keep it low maintenance. Sometimes, I want to dress up and the curves naturally come alive. Sometimes I strip down to the bare essentials and fight out my insecurities in ways that are my personal therapy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are all very different parts of my personality but I embrace them all because they are underpinned by a spirit of happiness, with the intention to bring joy to those I meet and wanting to encourage others to love themselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had the chance to work with my dear friend Ininaa back in February to bring this to life and loved every minute of it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though I was 2 ½ hours late <strong>*face palm*</strong> she was patient, supportive and maaaaan, does she know how to get those angles!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Safe to say though, I much prefer life behind the lens - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can be so awkward! She is available for bookings so <a href="mailto:ohmissbee@hotmail.co.uk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">contact me</a> if you want a quote :D</div>
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<strong>Photography by Ininaa Camp</strong></div>
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**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-64137967716741085332016-02-24T21:24:00.000+00:002017-02-10T19:37:31.820+00:00Spotlight: Ibiye Camp<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ZTWFAz3pCAlmH2mkJBtbuilGQGLHIQnqby5up093UJWpOWk_UQtQ4zEL0wB99d4UtXO4AX14BKoTPKJFkKlve3XKQNm2Ol97ZbrLKhLh6f3x-i-eqELcJvxq1lWiCu9cZHj3gZlIGhsV/s1600/2D4A4337.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9ZTWFAz3pCAlmH2mkJBtbuilGQGLHIQnqby5up093UJWpOWk_UQtQ4zEL0wB99d4UtXO4AX14BKoTPKJFkKlve3XKQNm2Ol97ZbrLKhLh6f3x-i-eqELcJvxq1lWiCu9cZHj3gZlIGhsV/s1600/2D4A4337.JPG" /></a></div>
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It's been a while since there's been a Spotlight on the blog but it's back with a bang! Known as Ibiye Camp to many, Ibs to a few or Chicken, as her sister affectionately calls her, this lady is a fellow celebrant of what expression is all about - doing something great with your passions. Turning her love of art across various disciplines into a successful fashion art line - Such A Fan - is no easy feat but, with Ella Eyre and Bluey Robinson as fans and her work being showcased in Sister Magazine, Ibiye takes in all in her creative stride.<br />
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Ibiye's journey is one that I've had the pleasure to see over a number of years so when we met up while she shot new pieces from the line, we talked Fine Art, finding strength in Paris with a li'l Rihanna inspiration and why it's good to talk..<br />
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Ibiye the Artist<o:p></o:p></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxIUdwkfhgqAPZ9RdylbiFYQDTcuJxx7lGxmOp04ygB7PGqsNKXqqonE3RJA1XzX9pWUSPYKfjZuwLbBLG4rGJyrop294fIs4Di8ujNs-aQyv_EHn5WSEgaPlRVrE80aUpdes26iyVdqtt/s1600/2D4A4160.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxIUdwkfhgqAPZ9RdylbiFYQDTcuJxx7lGxmOp04ygB7PGqsNKXqqonE3RJA1XzX9pWUSPYKfjZuwLbBLG4rGJyrop294fIs4Di8ujNs-aQyv_EHn5WSEgaPlRVrE80aUpdes26iyVdqtt/s1600/2D4A4160.JPG" /></a></h3>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: white;">Fine Art Beginnings..</span></h3>
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Fine Art Beginnings..<o:p></o:p></h3>
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I’ve always known I’ve wanted to do art so it was an easy choice to do my foundation course at Kingston. You do a number of disciplines; illustration, moving image, fashion design, fine art and you have to pick a pathway. We were scored within the first few weeks and, even though I scored best in design and worst in Fine Art, I knew I want to pursue Fine Art as I really wanted to paint. I would create these huge paintings, film myself painting them and hang them in the streets. I was just as interested in the creation as I was in the finished product.<o:p></o:p><br />
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Studying at Central St Martins<o:p></o:p></h3>
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Getting a place at Central St Martins studying Fine Art, I was placed in the XD class which was in north London, a lot further away from the busier main campus. I tried to change to 2D on the main campus but my tutors reviewed my work again and could see that I had been already been doing much more in terms of multidisciplinary work. Ultimately, my paintings had become much more than just paint to canvas. <o:p></o:p><br />
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Overcoming My first Challenge<o:p></o:p></h3>
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Part of me knew that XD was a bigger challenge for me as it would help me develop the research and conversational aspects around the artwork I was producing. My tutors Sarah and Trevor were amazing; I was definitely inspired by their work, and I got the opportunity to explore North London in a new way with other students. As time went on, I found I was a lot more interested in Performance, as well as Fine Art and my final degree show was a mix of both. I didn’t get to just do what I was good at but I explored art a lot further and, to quote our class motto, it was about the Xperience!<o:p></o:p><br />
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Paris & Perspective</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFvWcK3Mnm0nVkwqHM0S3dHleYXYV4rvlreu1Tb6c1lakb4DtgBtLLVn02zpn4JxNsxnFVobl9z6EATicthSvkBxlK-CeM9k8NTQOPBqsQk4PTmiDjKmyUng2-nH3yxPufWD5_rTebWTmZ/s1600/2D4A4220.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFvWcK3Mnm0nVkwqHM0S3dHleYXYV4rvlreu1Tb6c1lakb4DtgBtLLVn02zpn4JxNsxnFVobl9z6EATicthSvkBxlK-CeM9k8NTQOPBqsQk4PTmiDjKmyUng2-nH3yxPufWD5_rTebWTmZ/s640/2D4A4220.JPG" width="426" /></a>After graduating from CSM, I went to visit my sister in New York and New Orleans to for a month. It was a great time to reflect and to think “what next?”. I came back and hosted my first show in London with my friend Lina called Beyond Time; it was a participatory show, all about being playful, dancing and getting people involved which was another great way to experiment with performance art. I also hosted another event and a pop up show in East Street market, making for a very busy summer. Later spending time in Venice and a longer period in Paris gave me some time to discover other sides of myself and it was during this time I started to work on the concept which developed into ‘Such A Fan’<o:p></o:p><br />
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Doing it for Myself<o:p></o:p></h3>
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During my degree, I was commissioned to do paintings for few people and I didn’t really enjoy the experience as my colourful style wasn’t well received. I went to Paris a good 6-7 months after I graduated and I realised that I wanted to get back to the place where I loved painting again; to regain the love I had from painting when I was a child. Spending time in Paris, rediscovering my passion and so much more, played a big part in where I am now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ibiye the Woman<o:p></o:p></h2>
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Artist vs Designer<o:p></o:p></h3>
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I really don’t see myself as a designer, having started the ‘Such A Fan’ range. To me, the denim is a canvas and, incorporating my interests in performance art, people wearing the clothing brings that artwork to life. It’s a different way of looking at hung artwork; instead of walls you have people. Self-portraits have always been seen as a gift of luxury and being able to treat yourself to something special. I wanted to bring that into my designs; it’s about being proud of who you are, whether it’s with a pair of selfie jeans or a t-shirt showing your love of an inspirational person. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif0MlJk3bJ6ugahH16s4HI86ygli8dtqeTx2Oenf5DZwnlI9osfHweqatb74n-thNTXo55drGOJ5dlvMVSiwGT1u9y-hQLr9AsUBkJewUyneVnw5PiUAsE0MuH7-z6i9mSct1XXVySN2Og/s1600/2D4A4235.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif0MlJk3bJ6ugahH16s4HI86ygli8dtqeTx2Oenf5DZwnlI9osfHweqatb74n-thNTXo55drGOJ5dlvMVSiwGT1u9y-hQLr9AsUBkJewUyneVnw5PiUAsE0MuH7-z6i9mSct1XXVySN2Og/s640/2D4A4235.JPG" width="400" /></a>My Inspirations<o:p></o:p></h3>
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Frida Kahlo for me, and so many other artists, is a big inspiration as she did portraiture and began to tell stories through her portraiture. She inspired me from a young age and I’ve found that many people relate with her image on my t-shirt, having grown up with her also. Painting her has shown the power of self-portrait as she was a pioneer of embracing your imperfections, showing that people are beautiful in their own differences. Frida Kahlo is a pretty amazing person.<br />
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My Motivators<o:p></o:p></h3>
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My sister Ininaa. She’s the photographer behind all the imagery for the line and has taken me around London with all my crazy demands! My mum, Sokari and dad Alan are also my inspirations; they’re both creators and know the pressures of being your own worst critic so they help with dealing with that. I’m lucky to have people around me who are really supportive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My Advice to the Newbies<o:p></o:p></h3>
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Always create what you love. When you take in consideration your target market and pricing you got to make something that you would be happy to buy yourself and love. I’d also say to keep talking to people about your ideas; it allows to think more about what works, what doesn’t and how people react to them.<br />
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My favourite item from the collection?<o:p></o:p></h3>
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It would probably be a combination of my favourite image of Tiffany, the beautiful model used to debut the line, wearing the Rihanna jeans that I made as they were the first pair of jeans I created; I actually sent them to Rihanna so I hope she got them! I also love the Kanye jeans, they’re a mix of smiling Kanye and that infamous Kanye Scowl.<br />
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Ibiye in 3 words?<o:p></o:p></h2>
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Not too sure; I’m still working it out!<o:p></o:p></h2>
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A woman as beautiful as her art! You can buy Such A Fan items on <a href="http://www.ibiyecamp.com/">www.ibiyecamp.com</a>, follow Ibiye on Twitter (<a href="https://twitter.com/ibiyecamp" target="_blank">@ibiyecamp</a>), <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ibiyecampartist" target="_blank">Facebook</a> & Instagram (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/ibiyecamp/" target="_blank">@ibiyecamp</a>). If you'd like to meet Ibiye in person you can go to the following places:</div>
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<a href="http://london-westbank.squarespace.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Karavane by La Boutik - Westbank Gallery</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thepennymarket.co.uk/" target="_blank">Penny Market - Portbello Market</a></div>
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She'll also be doing a show with jewellery designer Charlotte Agullano and nail artist Metta Francis - stay tuned!</div>
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<bold><br /><strong>Photography by Ininaa Camp</strong><bold></bold></bold></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-56872265743197864402016-01-24T23:04:00.000+00:002017-02-04T09:35:57.567+00:00WACWW: Kaftan Dress<br />
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Happy New Year my lovelies! 2015 just flew by but with it came alot of growth, happiness and a renewed focus to be the best version of my quirky self. As always, I spent my NYE between friends and family, thanking God for the year just gone and the first Sunday of the year thanking God for the year ahead.</div>
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I've had a fair few queries about this dress so it's aptly my first WACWW for 2016. I've actually had my eye on this dress from ASOS for about 3 months now (thank you Saved Items!) but when I was ready to buy it, it had sold out :(. During the sale however, I decided to search for it again aon a whim and, lo and behold, they had one dress left - it pays to be spontaneous!. I also got my shoes in the sale so all in all ASOS = As Seen on Sarah :D. Kaftan dresses are le best at covering up those post-Christmas gains, and with a colout like this... say no more monsieur!</div>
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I honestly felt like a Queen when I wore this and it nicely fit into my thoughts for this year. With all that I learnt in the <a href="http://www.gushgossipblog.co.uk/2015/11/sarahisms-fashion-weight.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">previous 12 months</a>, I encourage everyone reading this to be a Queen (or King) in your own right. We were made to all be different so spend less time being a keyboard warrior, a backhanded verbal basher or just a lazy bum (I raise my hand up for that one) and work out what makes you GREAT. Every success comes with a learning curve first but I speak from experience when I say they'll be the best years of your life.</div>
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**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Dress - <a href="http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-70s-Kaftan-Wrap-Maxi-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5015496" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><strong>ASOS</strong></a> (similar <a href="http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-maxi-dress-with-stitch-shoulder-detail/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5239394&clr=Yellow&SearchQuery=YELLOW+MAXI&pgesize=26&pge=0&totalstyles=26&gridsize=3&gridrow=3&gridcolumn=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-curve-70s-maxi-dress-with-stitch-shoulder/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5456115&clr=Mustard&SearchQuery=70S+DRESS&pgesize=36&pge=0&totalstyles=100&gridsize=3&gridrow=3&gridcolumn=3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.asos.com/lipstick-boutique-petite/lipstick-boutique-petite-70's-plunge-neck-maxi-dress-with-double-splits/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5633537&clr=Orange&SearchQuery=70S+DRESS&pgesize=36&pge=0&totalstyles=100&gridsize=3&gridrow=11&gridcolumn=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>)<br />
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Shoes - <a href="http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-pacey-pointed-high-heels/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5277685&clr=Gold&SearchQuery=gold+shoes&pgesize=42&pge=0&totalstyles=42&gridsize=3&gridrow=11&gridcolumn=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ASOS</a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-82380996361387267532015-11-26T13:11:00.000+00:002017-01-26T15:42:42.675+00:00My Cosmopolitan UK X Evans Spread!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Earlier this year I was scrolling through my Instagram (as you do), feeling a bit glum and I came across a post from Cosmopolitan UK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were doing their latest update of, what I now know as, the Curve Edit and wanted curvy women with style to submit a picture or two and a brief bio of their style icon for the opportunity to feature (Fun fact: I chose Sofia Vergara who just happened to be their cover star at the times - when fate aligns!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine my genuine surprise when I was actually chosen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, ladies and gents, I was one of the stars of the Curve Edit which ran in Cosmopolitan UK October Edition!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Whilst I have no plans to be a model (way too awkward and excitable lol) I can definitely say it was one of the best experiences of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The team at Cosmo were so friendly and really coached me through the different themes we had to do as part of the features.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also got to share the experiences with two beautiful ladies, Amelia and Sophie, who each brought something unique to the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We shot both in London and on location in Camber Sands (so picturesque!) and I honestly had the best time from start to finish.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I think for me, this feature was particularly important because, time and time again, I see women who are so hard on themselves, which leads to a dangerous cycle of self-depreciation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, if I have any opportunity to encourage others to work through it like I'm doing now, I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone's path is different, and some opportunities won't come at the perfect time, but, my God, you have to grab them! I remember seeing the magazine and smiling at how much had changed since then but I (and millions or others!) have proof to say "I got through that!"<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Pictures are below!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvg0d5piJdq_boct8M-luBs2UJjlqlo3IQINxu1oOuk4_JIEgyEFkjQizZMzTO4NBSV7L0LicY6ATMXGOwXrg2eeKK-NekKCMdjtnxMukBvT1nQ-4q0H_tdCfyd3i-xVbapnT999RaCvrD/s1600/IMG_7757.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvg0d5piJdq_boct8M-luBs2UJjlqlo3IQINxu1oOuk4_JIEgyEFkjQizZMzTO4NBSV7L0LicY6ATMXGOwXrg2eeKK-NekKCMdjtnxMukBvT1nQ-4q0H_tdCfyd3i-xVbapnT999RaCvrD/s640/IMG_7757.JPG" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some BTS shots!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">..& some more!</td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-45414650017057648552015-11-06T23:07:00.000+00:002017-10-16T22:33:13.539+01:00Sarahisms™: Fashion &...<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
.<b>..Weight</b></h2>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>"As long as the people don't fear the truth, there is hope. For once they fear it, the one who tells it doesn't stand a chance. And today, truth is still beautiful.. but so frightening"</b></i><br />
- The Temple of My Familiar, Alice Walker</blockquote>
This particular Sarahism<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;">™</span> has been a 8 month written piece in the making. The basis of the piece went from being a rebellion against the all-foreboding #FitFam, to appreciating unwanted weight gain (as much as that is possible <i>*<b>side eye</b>*</i>). In the interim, I had moments of doubt as to how to project my thoughts and even if they were valid. Whilst I won’t go into a long spiel of ‘love thyself’, I am now a firm believer of time and experience being the most original, and convincing, way to share your truth, and I hope it can help someone else. Also, I missed you guys! Thank you to everyone who has asked me when I’ll get back to blogging; you definitely were my inadvertent voices of encouragement.<br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a>As I mentioned in my last post, back in February, I suffered from a really horrible case of food poisoning. I recovered, thank God, but something relatively strange happened to me; I actually gained weight. Just my luck, right? However, what really got to me was the fact that I couldn’t shake it off quite as easily as I used to in my younger years, despite conscious efforts to. Months began to go by and I found myself stuck in a rut where I felt uncomfortable in my body, to the extent that I didn’t want to leave my house. There started a journey I now refer to it as the <i><b>MWLP – the Mental Weight Loss Programme.</b></i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><b>March 2015 - the beginning</b><br />
Blazer - <b>Primark</b><br />
T-shirt -<b> Zara</b><br />
Jeans - <b>Dorothy Perkins</b><br />
Heels - <b>ASOS</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When it dawned on me that this weight gain wasn’t going anywhere fast, I started to move past what I looked like (<i>after several sessions introducing the mirror to Tola Jnr, the talking tummy – yes I named my belly fat, sue me</i>) and thought about how the changes to my body made me feel. Not great, as you may have gathered. I then thought about all the times I’d lost and gained weight and, fundamentally, how I felt about myself in each situation. That’s when it hit me. I had never been at peace with my body. Total disclosure; a part of me still isn’t. What I did know, however, is that I am not one to be conscious of an issue and not try to resolve it. Which brings me back to the <i>MWLP. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSFwepAuf-eljRxl0-sNMde6KhvChi3d-mTUmyXywnUZn0u-iwGFLLCXD3q9Q4IYoYeTCU3GjmkQPnMdGNno8-zS0FwtCxC5zPcJ5RiYHmriyY7uMZzoTBhvwzm7y0pVDEx6G3vXy_KPL/s1600/tumblr_lzh3vwdvYr1qj73e2o1_r1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSFwepAuf-eljRxl0-sNMde6KhvChi3d-mTUmyXywnUZn0u-iwGFLLCXD3q9Q4IYoYeTCU3GjmkQPnMdGNno8-zS0FwtCxC5zPcJ5RiYHmriyY7uMZzoTBhvwzm7y0pVDEx6G3vXy_KPL/s1600/tumblr_lzh3vwdvYr1qj73e2o1_r1_400.gif" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i>
The rules of the <i>MWLP</i> are simple;<b><u> teach yourself to shed all the images of what you think you look like</u></b> and <b><u>appreciate your brand just the way it is, with the belief of what it will be</u></b>. Address your issues and own those flaws! Even with my personal struggle, I have had one too many conversations with beautiful women of all shapes and sizes encouraging them to love themselves as they are. The most surprising aspect was that these conversations were happening with those who had both gained and lost weight. I cannot lie, the ones who had lost weight, in particular, initially infuriated me. However, as I reflected, I realised something; we have all the tools, guides, cheat sheets and tutorials on how to keep our bodies healthy but what about our minds? What happens if you fail more times than the latest fad diet pops up or you've finally reached your weight goal? What happened to just saying ‘my good will become great but (<i>and pay attention here</i>) I am still <u><b>GOOD</b></u>!’.<br />
The ever helpful Google showed me a great article from Woman’s Health supporting this - essentially, <a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/how-to-be-nicer-to-yourself" target="_blank">self-compassion is part of the foundation when it comes to a successful plan</a>. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. So forget ‘fake it until you make it’; understanding and engaging the <i>MWLP</i> will have you ‘slaying until it stays’ <i>*<b>snaps for the alliteration gawds</b>*</i><br />
<br />
Tying it back to fashion, here are the 3 main tips that have helped me (<i>I weighed the same in all the pictures below as I did in March; these tips make all the difference!)</i><br />
<br />
<u style="font-weight: bold;">1.</u><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> <u style="font-weight: bold;">Invest in good underwear</u><br />
Tyra Banks does it, Jennifer Lopez does it, even Mrs Carter does it, let's do it, let's invest in some Spanxs! I know waist trainers are all the rage but here’s the thing about Spanx, high waisted knickers or even just seam-free control underwear - they smooth out the contours of your body, thus enhancing your natural shape, without ever selling you, or anyone else, a dream. Having used both, I am definitely team Spanxs*, as <a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/waist-training" target="_blank">the dangers, not to mention the pain</a>, of waist trainers far outweigh the supposed benefits. Spanx literally saved the dress below that I had custom made, as my overenthusiastic tailor decided tight was ‘sexy’ lol. Although I still had a slight paunch, I worked it!<br />
<br />
*until I won't need shapewear at all :P<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCT4u6KO4e0s0fSdKxUNVGURPwqVqMh27P2SDcAykiNC_pKjOGGhBi3Nzq0f3D6h9h_Cyd9tMEMCTdY8N40JCrBVCiqOF-nHUxhjUhEI74yKYA3eP6cZjWdUdJcYM9JOfegJJl-l1yqlhG/s1600/IMG_8164.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCT4u6KO4e0s0fSdKxUNVGURPwqVqMh27P2SDcAykiNC_pKjOGGhBi3Nzq0f3D6h9h_Cyd9tMEMCTdY8N40JCrBVCiqOF-nHUxhjUhEI74yKYA3eP6cZjWdUdJcYM9JOfegJJl-l1yqlhG/s1600/IMG_8164.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Heels -</span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"> <b>Primark</b></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><u>2.</u><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><u>Find your natural waist</u></b><br />
Waist belts are BAA for me – Before All Accessories. I cannot begin to describe how many times an outfit has been made by the right waist belt – never underestimate it! And don’t worry about your shape, whether it’s apple, pear or straight; there is a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/18/best-belts-women-kim-kardashian_n_1890125.html" target="_blank">belt for you</a>.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQG9IVOlZvDKJ8_QJSBBNh-KYwp4L10fExIWrsoIxWiwKBaGlp2Wdvb69NbH14SbhbuKzmzXOwvWryUZ8-bmBS5Z3Bt-z1qkQFyNYHr-Fjhc8Sgp0pEs6SDv-9QM94DWnLCcmCcujpkdT/s1600/IMG_8085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQG9IVOlZvDKJ8_QJSBBNh-KYwp4L10fExIWrsoIxWiwKBaGlp2Wdvb69NbH14SbhbuKzmzXOwvWryUZ8-bmBS5Z3Bt-z1qkQFyNYHr-Fjhc8Sgp0pEs6SDv-9QM94DWnLCcmCcujpkdT/s1600/IMG_8085.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Dress - <b>Tommy Hilfiger</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Belt -<b> Oasis</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Heels - <b>New Look</b></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><u><br />3.</u><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><u>COLOUR!</u></b><br />
If you’ve read any of my blog post posts before you’ll know how much I am a fan of colour and I attribute most of my sense of style to the fact that colour is expressive. It has the ability to both complement and revive your skin tone, allows you to take risks without moving too far from what suits your body shape and hey, it’s never been a mood killer – if <a href="http://www.vogue.com/2161965/can-wearing-bright-colors-improve-mood/" target="_blank">Vogue says it</a>, it must be true!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDA_cnZh2O5lT1-QbYshgimC9ujbELxNd7N-J_3P-jKuJjJf_hW-5VRBOJQ2Xhj5UCTBYDLJWkv7R2JLkItSLFMM89SOM2AH23pvgj1GO5RV_Hhr-BXvP-6VpUwvhV_XI3wItBZqdM8SRA/s1600/IMG_5260.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDA_cnZh2O5lT1-QbYshgimC9ujbELxNd7N-J_3P-jKuJjJf_hW-5VRBOJQ2Xhj5UCTBYDLJWkv7R2JLkItSLFMM89SOM2AH23pvgj1GO5RV_Hhr-BXvP-6VpUwvhV_XI3wItBZqdM8SRA/s1600/IMG_5260.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Dress - <b>H&M</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Chain belt (old)- <b>Gogo Philip</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Bag -</span><b style="font-size: 12.8px;"> Micheal Kors</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Shoes - <b>Aldo</b></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp1grd-hC_X5RRmrZjy85Bvgm8GIyq2swmw-qqcXnmowczJSs2e4I-ZHf4AfxIhZ6m2iJ5r9uBFtw9vm2Os7V5nJ6bH9uHrZkku-UbrjuD2ctmJ7qVhcA8UtW0UjZx2FGOrsPa22K8QmBu/s1600/IMG_7566.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp1grd-hC_X5RRmrZjy85Bvgm8GIyq2swmw-qqcXnmowczJSs2e4I-ZHf4AfxIhZ6m2iJ5r9uBFtw9vm2Os7V5nJ6bH9uHrZkku-UbrjuD2ctmJ7qVhcA8UtW0UjZx2FGOrsPa22K8QmBu/s1600/IMG_7566.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Crop top -</span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"> </span><b style="font-size: 12.8px;">ASOS (as seen in <a href="http://www.gushgossipblog.co.uk/2014/03/feelspiration-something-old-something.html" target="_blank">Feelspiration</a>)</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Skirt - <b>Mango</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Bag -<b> Longchamp</b></div>
<div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
Sandals- <b>New Look</b><br />
<b><br /></b></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'll end this piece how I started; with a poignant quote:<br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
<i><b>"Always remember how much you wanted to be loved and how much you are loved"</b></i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<blockquote>
<div style="text-align: left;">
- Lynette Scavo <i>(yes, from Desperate Housewives – inspiration is everywhere!)</i></div>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: left;">
4 words: <i>It starts with you.</i></div>
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SB xx</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-72582688803088161622015-11-06T18:49:00.000+00:002017-10-16T22:34:35.640+01:00Sarahisms™: Fashion &...<div class="MsoNormal">
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
.<b>..Weight</b></h2>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>"As long as the people don't fear the truth, there is hope. For once they fear it, the one who tells it doesn't stand a chance. And today, truth is still beautiful.. but so frightening"</b></i><br />
- The Temple of My Familiar, Alice Walker</blockquote>
This particular Sarahism<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;">™</span> has been a 8 month written piece in the making. The basis of the piece went from being a rebellion against the all-foreboding #FitFam, to appreciating unwanted weight gain (as much as that is possible <i>*<b>side eye</b>*</i>). In the interim, I had moments of doubt as to how to project my thoughts and even if they were valid. Whilst I won’t go into a long spiel of self-worth and ‘love thyself’, I am now a firm believer of time and experience being the most original, and convincing, way to share your truth, and I hope it can help someone else. Also, I missed you guys! Thank you to everyone who has asked me when I’ll get back to blogging; you definitely were my inadvertent voices of encouragement.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMImo7T3RvF2P2DYXYDqltZ4tq6r3OFu1h83klDy0Dhn0_kVutMjK_YgpG2M10F4PVKUSrN25PuwJ5hbJjRvaoNo_yaShRfDMS_WovcY28X8tlyV33baDSEw4pzmxowOepcp02dDbqB4dC/s1600/NEON.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMImo7T3RvF2P2DYXYDqltZ4tq6r3OFu1h83klDy0Dhn0_kVutMjK_YgpG2M10F4PVKUSrN25PuwJ5hbJjRvaoNo_yaShRfDMS_WovcY28X8tlyV33baDSEw4pzmxowOepcp02dDbqB4dC/s1600/NEON.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="more"></a>As I mentioned in my last post, back in February, I suffered from a really horrible case of food poisoning. I recovered, thank God, but something relatively strange happened to me; I actually gained weight. Just my luck, right? However, what really got to me was the fact that I couldn’t shake it off quite as easily as I used to in my younger years, despite conscious efforts to. Months began to go by and I found myself stuck in a rut where I felt uncomfortable in my body, to the extent that I didn’t want to leave my house. There started a journey I now refer to it as the <i><b>MWLP – the Mental Weight Loss Programme.</b></i><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhgU9f1VoQw5gjNU8JFhPhN74ubvsnxTK4fqFLH9DFM0RFIH4CHKRFjf0yYUaZ_u1dKE0rN_xmhOKQM5XyxRyUWJ4Jm0NUgqJP8oUUcEra-elcKemQYEZcDnoK7kc0mohP1ASpPzr0t-kH/s1600/IMG_5108.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhgU9f1VoQw5gjNU8JFhPhN74ubvsnxTK4fqFLH9DFM0RFIH4CHKRFjf0yYUaZ_u1dKE0rN_xmhOKQM5XyxRyUWJ4Jm0NUgqJP8oUUcEra-elcKemQYEZcDnoK7kc0mohP1ASpPzr0t-kH/s1600/IMG_5108.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>March 2015 - the beginning</b><br />
Blazer - <b>Primark</b><br />
T-shirt -<b> Zara</b><br />
Jeans - <b>Dorothy Perkins</b><br />
Heels - <b>ASOS</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When it dawned on me that this weight gain wasn’t going anywhere fast, I started to move past what I looked like (<i>after several sessions introducing the mirror to Tola Jnr, the talking tummy – yes I named my belly fat, sue me</i>) and thought about how the changes to my body made me feel. Not great, as you may have gathered. I then thought about all the times I’d lost and gained weight and, fundamentally, how I felt about myself in each situation. That’s when it hit me. I had never been at peace with my body. Total disclosure; a part of me still isn’t. What I did know, however, is that I am not one to be conscious of an issue and not try to resolve it. Which brings me back to the <i>MWLP. </i><br />
<i><br /></i> <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSFwepAuf-eljRxl0-sNMde6KhvChi3d-mTUmyXywnUZn0u-iwGFLLCXD3q9Q4IYoYeTCU3GjmkQPnMdGNno8-zS0FwtCxC5zPcJ5RiYHmriyY7uMZzoTBhvwzm7y0pVDEx6G3vXy_KPL/s1600/tumblr_lzh3vwdvYr1qj73e2o1_r1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSFwepAuf-eljRxl0-sNMde6KhvChi3d-mTUmyXywnUZn0u-iwGFLLCXD3q9Q4IYoYeTCU3GjmkQPnMdGNno8-zS0FwtCxC5zPcJ5RiYHmriyY7uMZzoTBhvwzm7y0pVDEx6G3vXy_KPL/s1600/tumblr_lzh3vwdvYr1qj73e2o1_r1_400.gif" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i> <br />
The rules of the <i>MWLP</i> are simple;<b><u> teach yourself to shed all the images of what you think you look like</u></b> and <b><u>appreciate your brand just the way it is, with the belief of what it will be</u></b>. Address your issues and own those flaws! Even with my personal struggle, I have had one too many conversations with beautiful women of all shapes and sizes encouraging them to love themselves as they are. The most surprising aspect was that these conversations were happening with those who had both gained and lost weight. I cannot lie, the ones who had lost weight, in particular, initially infuriated me. However, as I reflected, I realised something; we have all the tools, guides, cheat sheets and tutorials on how to keep our bodies healthy but what about our minds? What happens if you fail more times than the latest fad diet pops up or you've finally reached your weight goal? What happened to just saying ‘my good will become great but (<i>and pay attention here</i>) I am still <u><b>GOOD</b></u>!’.<br />
The ever helpful Google showed me a great article from Woman’s Health supporting this - essentially, <a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/how-to-be-nicer-to-yourself" target="_blank">self-compassion is part of the foundation when it comes to a successful plan</a>. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. So forget ‘fake it until you make it’; understanding and engaging the <i>MWLP</i> will have you ‘slaying until it stays’ <i>*<b>snaps for the alliteration gawds</b>*</i><br />
<br />
Tying it back to fashion, here are the 3 main tips that have helped me (<i>I weighed the same in all the pictures below as I did in March; these tips make all the difference!)</i><br />
<br />
<u style="font-weight: bold;">1.</u><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> <u style="font-weight: bold;">Invest in good underwear</u><br />
Tyra Banks does it, Jennifer Lopez does it, even Mrs Carter does it, let's do it, let's invest in some Spanx! I know waist trainers are all the rage but here’s the thing about Spanx, high waisted knickers or even just seam-free control underwear - they smooth out the contours of your body, thus enhancing your natural shape, without ever selling you, or anyone else, a dream. Having used both, I am definitely team Spanx, as <a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/waist-training" target="_blank">the dangers, not to mention the pain</a>, of waist trainers far outweigh the supposed benefits. Spanx literally saved the dress below that I had custom made, as my overenthusiastic tailor decided tight was ‘sexy’ lol. Although I still had a slight paunch, I worked it!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCT4u6KO4e0s0fSdKxUNVGURPwqVqMh27P2SDcAykiNC_pKjOGGhBi3Nzq0f3D6h9h_Cyd9tMEMCTdY8N40JCrBVCiqOF-nHUxhjUhEI74yKYA3eP6cZjWdUdJcYM9JOfegJJl-l1yqlhG/s1600/IMG_8164.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCT4u6KO4e0s0fSdKxUNVGURPwqVqMh27P2SDcAykiNC_pKjOGGhBi3Nzq0f3D6h9h_Cyd9tMEMCTdY8N40JCrBVCiqOF-nHUxhjUhEI74yKYA3eP6cZjWdUdJcYM9JOfegJJl-l1yqlhG/s1600/IMG_8164.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Heels -</span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"> <b>Primark</b></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><u>2.</u><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><u>Find your natural waist</u></b><br />
Waist belts are BAA for me – Before All Accessories. I cannot begin to describe how many times an outfit has been made by the right waist belt – never underestimate it! And don’t worry about your shape, whether it’s apple, pear or straight; there is a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/18/best-belts-women-kim-kardashian_n_1890125.html" target="_blank">belt for you</a>.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQG9IVOlZvDKJ8_QJSBBNh-KYwp4L10fExIWrsoIxWiwKBaGlp2Wdvb69NbH14SbhbuKzmzXOwvWryUZ8-bmBS5Z3Bt-z1qkQFyNYHr-Fjhc8Sgp0pEs6SDv-9QM94DWnLCcmCcujpkdT/s1600/IMG_8085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQG9IVOlZvDKJ8_QJSBBNh-KYwp4L10fExIWrsoIxWiwKBaGlp2Wdvb69NbH14SbhbuKzmzXOwvWryUZ8-bmBS5Z3Bt-z1qkQFyNYHr-Fjhc8Sgp0pEs6SDv-9QM94DWnLCcmCcujpkdT/s1600/IMG_8085.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
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Dress - <b>Tommy Hilfiger</b></div>
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Belt -<b> Oasis</b></div>
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Heels - <b>New Look</b></div>
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<b><u>3.</u><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><u>COLOUR!</u></b><br />
If you’ve read any of my blog post posts before you’ll know how much I am a fan of colour and I attribute most of my sense of style to the fact that colour is expressive. It has the ability to both complement and revive your skin tone, allows you to take risks without moving too far from what suits your body shape and hey, it’s never been a mood killer – if <a href="http://www.vogue.com/2161965/can-wearing-bright-colors-improve-mood/" target="_blank">Vogue says it</a>, it must be true!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDA_cnZh2O5lT1-QbYshgimC9ujbELxNd7N-J_3P-jKuJjJf_hW-5VRBOJQ2Xhj5UCTBYDLJWkv7R2JLkItSLFMM89SOM2AH23pvgj1GO5RV_Hhr-BXvP-6VpUwvhV_XI3wItBZqdM8SRA/s1600/IMG_5260.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDA_cnZh2O5lT1-QbYshgimC9ujbELxNd7N-J_3P-jKuJjJf_hW-5VRBOJQ2Xhj5UCTBYDLJWkv7R2JLkItSLFMM89SOM2AH23pvgj1GO5RV_Hhr-BXvP-6VpUwvhV_XI3wItBZqdM8SRA/s1600/IMG_5260.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
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Dress - <b>H&M</b></div>
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Chain belt (old)- <b>Gogo Philip</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Bag -</span><b style="font-size: 12.8px;"> Micheal Kors</b></div>
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Shoes - <b>Aldo</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Crop top -</span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"> </span><b style="font-size: 12.8px;">ASOS (as seen in <a href="http://www.gushgossipblog.co.uk/2014/03/feelspiration-something-old-something.html" target="_blank">Feelspiration</a>)</b></div>
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Skirt - <b>Mango</b></div>
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Bag -<b> Longchamp</b></div>
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Sandals- <b>New Look</b><br />
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I'll end this piece how I started; with a poignant quote:<br />
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<i><b>"Always remember how much you wanted to be loved and how much you are loved"</b></i></div>
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- Lynette Scavo <i>(yes, from Desperate Housewives – inspiration is everywhere!)</i></div>
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4 words: <i>It starts with you.</i></div>
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SB xx</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-69875578688652178022015-02-23T14:41:00.000+00:002017-01-25T12:03:46.580+00:00OOTD: #BoDebs2015Hiiiiiiiiii guys! Happy 2015 gorgeous people; hope everyone has been having a productive year so far. I've been busy, busy, busy as always - my beautiful big sister is getting married (eek!)<br />
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I thought I'd do a quick post on an outfit I picked up a few weeks ago. Debs and Bode hosted engagement party in January at Cocochan, a chic restaurant/bar in Bond Street. Naturally, as the chief bridesmaid, I had to have my A-game ready and found this beaut of a dress on ASOS. I finally gave in and bought the Premier subscription. Trust me; best investment ever!<br />
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Frantically scrabbling to find figure fitting dress when you're feeling self-conscious (thank God the January blues, along with the food poisoning, the awful kind that leaves you bloated, have gone!) is stressful for the best of people but with the Premier subscription next day delivery I literally had a walk in wardrobe and had a great choice of clothes. Fuchsia is one of my favourite colours, so the step asymmetrical design of this dress, with the cross back and waist cinching design, won for me. Matched with my leopard print heels (also from le ASOS) and I was good to go!<br />
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Below are a few candid snapshots!<br />
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SB xx</div>
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**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebAAr0L7UUqwG5jYVaO2nubzy1ROktr2jQcWy6dqOAY9OYSu83bfkyM2zvu24I7OHTM_F4JnMGS4erYR2ijZAXfp-MDberTHUOq9ohhCbQZWootbWXsvMewwurzHWi5lr7VZ4CIbJqhY7/s1600/SB+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebAAr0L7UUqwG5jYVaO2nubzy1ROktr2jQcWy6dqOAY9OYSu83bfkyM2zvu24I7OHTM_F4JnMGS4erYR2ijZAXfp-MDberTHUOq9ohhCbQZWootbWXsvMewwurzHWi5lr7VZ4CIbJqhY7/s1600/SB+(2).JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dress - <a href="http://www.asos.com//ASOS/ASOS-Asymmetric-Dress-With-Step-Hem/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4076739" target="_blank">ASOS</a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWacDWs37jdwebQ0Ssku5XfSlT6rzCMHiOfVy8L1Yib2uUogepdkhSpV3MiAA8vXp4wdKVhlvn2alaAvlP6H50fOUD0IWMIuOWISS1vbKLh2uidiMfN-JC007hRb3WtPF15xNy5x69q2V/s1600/OOTD+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWacDWs37jdwebQ0Ssku5XfSlT6rzCMHiOfVy8L1Yib2uUogepdkhSpV3MiAA8vXp4wdKVhlvn2alaAvlP6H50fOUD0IWMIuOWISS1vbKLh2uidiMfN-JC007hRb3WtPF15xNy5x69q2V/s1600/OOTD+(2).JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://twitter.com/makeitwithfifi" target="_blank">Make It With Fifi </a>made this wonderful creation - a 14" creamy masterpiece!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The beautiful couple</td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-31807068733054507542014-12-09T10:09:00.000+00:002017-10-18T11:16:04.839+01:00Feelspiration™: That foreign! The Wrap Dress <div class="MsoPlainText">
Another day, another round for Feelspiration™ for my lovely readers just in time for the festive season! This time we're talking wrap dresses; a timeless fashion asset. Ever since DVF created these swaths of colourful goodness in their infamous variations of prints, they have kept their rightful place as a staple piece in fashionable women's wardrobes around the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Details on my fit after the cut; you will never guess what size I'm wearing! Also, learn how to make a wrap dress fit your body type & an edit of the best designers wrap dresses - on sale! Click through with your card at the ready..<o:p></o:p></div>
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My outfit, which I wore last Saturday is a <a href="http://www.ralphlauren.co.uk/product/index.jsp?productId=35066521&utm_source=GoogleShopping&utm_medium=GoogleShopping&utm_campaign=GoogleShopping&utm_term=GoogleShopping&gclid=Cj0KEQiAtZWkBRC9ibSfhoKEyLYBEiQA5fDxkeMz5KiGwFyP_r0_ei6dquLcla4n_DfSQFcn1mpHrBsaAuq58P8HAQ" target="_blank">Ralph by Ralph Lauren wrap dress</a> , which I picked up when I was in <a href="http://www.gushgossipblog.co.uk/2014/11/back-like-i-never-left.html" target="_blank">NY in August</a>. Now, I wasn't too sure whether to share my testimony LOL but it's definitely tribute to the power of a good wrap dress. The celebration I went to was actually a Nigerian wedding to be featured on Don't Tell The Bride (yes, I was as excited as a tree in the Summer breeze!). Those who are familiar with the format of the show, the address tends not to be revealed until the last minute so I was told about the whole thing literally 2 hours before we went. I saw the dress in my wardrobe but wasn't too sure, especially as I have put on some cushion for the pushing since NY. However when I slipped it on it made me feel so sexy (not a feeling I get that often! *covers face*) and emphasised my hourglass shape, minimising my extra lumps and bumps. Best part; it is a UK size 12! If that's not evidence of size simply being a number on a label, I don't know what is! As I always say, understanding your figure and the materials that best match is a liberating feeling.<br />
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The great thing about wrap dresses is that they suit every body shape. Small hips? Keep the skirt slightly flared. Your tummy has a little extra love? Wear a 'waisted' wrap dress, making sure the tie around is firm or a draped front for extra coverage. Great legs? Give us a slitted thigh for the masses!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Below are some great wrap dresses to fit curvy shapes and otherwise; I've focused more on designers as I think it's key that you choose pieces with a good cut and slightly heavier material so it doesn't cling too much, attributes associated more with designers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Let me know if you buy any; I just may join you!<o:p></o:p></div>
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SB xx<br />
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**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13.3333339691162px;"><a href="http://www.ralphlauren.co.uk/product/index.jsp?productId=35066521&utm_source=GoogleShopping&utm_medium=GoogleShopping&utm_campaign=GoogleShopping&utm_term=GoogleShopping&gclid=Cj0KEQiAtZWkBRC9ibSfhoKEyLYBEiQA5fDxkeMz5KiGwFyP_r0_ei6dquLcla4n_DfSQFcn1mpHrBsaAuq58P8HAQ" target="_blank">Dress: RALPH by Ralph Lauren </a></td></tr>
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r-l: <a href="http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/new-in-this-week-2169932/new-in-this-week-493/alita-wrap-dress-by-tfnc-3710319?bi=1&ps=200" target="_blank">TFNC - £38</a>, <a href="http://www.stylebop.com/product_details.php?id=558196" target="_blank">Stefan Schraut - £155</a>, <a href="http://www.theoutnet.com/en-GB/product/MICHAEL-Michael-Kors/Printed-stretch-jersey-wrap-effect-dress/526744" target="_blank">Diane Von Furstenberg - £122</a>, <a href="http://www.theoutnet.com/en-GB/product/MICHAEL-Michael-Kors/Printed-stretch-jersey-wrap-effect-dress/526744" style="font-size: 13.3333339691162px;" target="_blank">MICHAEL Michael Kors - £78</a><span style="font-size: 13.3333339691162px;">, </span><a href="http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Yanny+London+3/4+sleeve+wrap+jersey+dress/202329177,default,pd.html" style="font-size: 13.3333339691162px;" target="_blank">Yanny London - £110</a> </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-17637951338779505872014-12-01T10:05:00.000+00:002017-01-25T11:52:07.121+00:00Sarah Bamidele x Trace TV Sports<br />
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Hallo!<br />
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I've been a busy bee in 2014, with one of my projects being a contributor for Trace TV Sports. In effect, I give my take on trending news in the world of sports whether it's who has the best style, how sport personalities differ, the transition from sports into fashion, how much their homes reflect them; to name a few of many topics! Funny story; when Louis & Nick, the producers, first approached me I was so sceptical I didn't want to reply to their emails but bless Nick, he convinced me that they weren't trying to scam me! <br />
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Definitely such a lovely, fun team to work with and I love the fact that they took the chance to work on sports shows with different angles to it. Although Trace TV is virtually everywhere (160 countries; no be small ting o!), unfortunately it's not in the UK so I haven't seen the live submission yet. Judging by the spike of hits my blog got a few months back, however, I think it's safe to say it's live and kicking - I find it so weird that people are searching me by my name!<br />
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I am honestly so blessed to have been given such a great opportunity and would definitely encourage, as always, anyone reading this, who has a passion to speak out, to never be afraid to move out of their comfort zone, whether it's doing something you're passionate about on the side or just trying something new. <br />
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Annnyways, without further ado, here are my best bits from some of the shows that are live. I've done a few more pieces since then (sidenote: continuity with me is a myth; my hair has changed every time <b>*face palm*</b>) so I'll be sure to put a few more on the blog.<br />
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SB xx<br />
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**THIS WAS WRITTEN AS PART OF GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG **</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6902635844111044516.post-50252726148310964012014-07-20T15:22:00.000+01:002017-01-26T15:41:39.673+00:00WACWW: Playsuit<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpr239RdxkLUidHEkcqwBzYziElp30S0kgTiOhTPN7xnUoAsLXDZKqCAC7_D-8e4PuzKCTs9nJ9M7MAxxhryx7QbbKn7rx_yV-WwyeOv7Fh3oNLE_SnXOBtXNnhlRCBQrmg5JHVB4r1rH/s1600/IMG_9643.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpr239RdxkLUidHEkcqwBzYziElp30S0kgTiOhTPN7xnUoAsLXDZKqCAC7_D-8e4PuzKCTs9nJ9M7MAxxhryx7QbbKn7rx_yV-WwyeOv7Fh3oNLE_SnXOBtXNnhlRCBQrmg5JHVB4r1rH/s1600/IMG_9643.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLcNGcBCsbqhyphenhyphenPM7fwKsZoy5SqnjPlL4qfgPc8N7HlUWIpw74QRlyT8zhXyVE3pSNyFi9ruzb84XMnlcJB1s9ivTU3U9-165KYYqEySb-aMHUUWNfd6NvbOoiQI9VgZYlrBb-B-uT3wJRo/s1600/IMG_9641.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLcNGcBCsbqhyphenhyphenPM7fwKsZoy5SqnjPlL4qfgPc8N7HlUWIpw74QRlyT8zhXyVE3pSNyFi9ruzb84XMnlcJB1s9ivTU3U9-165KYYqEySb-aMHUUWNfd6NvbOoiQI9VgZYlrBb-B-uT3wJRo/s1600/IMG_9641.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Playsuit: <b>Topshop</b><br />
Heels: <b>River Island (old)</b><br />
Belt: <b>H&M (old)</b></td></tr>
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Okay, I'm going to lead off this post with a question: hands up ladies, especially the ones with the ample derrieres, if you've ever worn a playsuit and you've found the bottom half..shall we say 'trapped in the closet'? I have on the occasions I've braved wearing a playsuit and I'm sure you'll agree when I say it's the most annoying thing! However, fear no more - as always with WACWW, I've found a great solution for our playsuit dilemma..<br />
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Sometimes a blessing and sometimes a pain, when it comes to wear playsuit with a larger bottom half the key is <i>structure. </i>Having hips, thighs and a bum I appreciate, for many women with a lower curvy body, structured outfits isn't something you veer to often, most especially in the shorts/trouser area, for fear of the 'squashed sausage legs' look, the dreaded camel toe or, the ultimate worst, a double whammy of both! However, as the saying goes, 'seek and you will find'. </div>
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Opting for the easier jersey version most times doesn't pay well in the long run with the aforementioned wedgies and the shorts riding up inappropriately. However, going for a heavier material, like satin or polyester, whilst not completely eliminating the ride-up predicament, allows for the shorts to sit better on your lower half without creating tightness in the wrong areas.</div>
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I bought this playsuit on a whim in the Topshop sale and I'm so happy I did! Unfortunately it's sold out anywhere but if I do find any alternative I'll keep you updated via <a href="http://www.instagram.com/gushgossipblog" target="_blank">Instagram</a>. I wore it to my beautiful friend Tade's 25th birthday yesterday at Sartoria and I had the most amazing time! Everyone is getting older and wiser methinnks :)</div>
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SB xx<br />
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** THIS WAS WRITTEN UNDER GUSH, GOSSIP, BLOG, MY PREVIOUS BLOG**</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I now have a thing for customised name settings :)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The birthday babe!</td></tr>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0