SARAHISMS™: Fashion &...

...Being Single

'Surely the Lord God will help me; who is he who will condemn me? Indeed they will all grow old like a garment; the moth will eat them up' (Isaiah 50:9 NKJV)

So I’m single.  Whoop-ti-doo.  I’ve gone left past Heartbreak Hotel, car-crashed into Rebound Avenue, flown onto the Overseas Fling Island, been wined, dined and refined into Relationship Wreckage and found myself, at 24, thinking ‘this is just the start’ *insert deadpan emoticon*.  Whatever your age, your experiences are your experiences and I’ve learnt from mine that time, and thoughtful decision-making, will save you a lot of stress when it comes to the opposite sex.  Having saying that, my 25^th year of making this world a better place is approaching and I am more conscious of what I want from life.  Which brings me nicely onto Fashion &.. The Single Life.

I do not falter when it comes to knowing my assets and amendable areas when I shop for clothes.  I’ve had compliments on par with criticism and, thankfully, have reached a place where the balance of comfort, class and sensuality is a good imagination and pin pad away. Alas, my extensive wardrobe, expressing my womanliness at its best, and my fast-approaching maturity alongside my quarter century anniversary seem to be clashing of late.  Example? The ladies and I plan lunch; I look in my wardrobe with demure expectations, the dress that makes me look like ‘a bedroom monster’ looks back (I kid you not; this is a term that has been used to describe my ‘sexiness’, amidst similar phrases of mass destruction. I have dated some interesting characters).

Many a time over the past 6 months I have had packed up various items of clothing that, whilst not overtly provocative, have a faint whiff of vixen about them, and tried to replace them with clothes that are less allure, more astute.  In fact, let me be blunt; I wanted to completely eradicate the notion from any male’s mind that I was just another pretty woman with a noticeable figure.  I’m okay with being single now but like, many, many, MANY other women I would like the compatible husband and the 2.4 kids too.  I remember speaking to my best friend on this issue and we came to the rather idealistic conclusion that if you set yourself apart starting with the way you dress, you’ll attract a different breed of men (or women for any male readers).  My dear friends, that is simply not true.

    

Confidence. When it comes to being single and dressing to entice, impress and ensnare the best, confidence is the best outfit you will ever own. Let me clarify; I do not mean wearing the hell out of that skintight dress or even being subtly seductive in your pseudo ‘kicking it  with with the Mandem’ crewneck and DMs.  Nor do I mean thrusting forth your H for Happiness Hermes belts, dressing like a struggle artist hoping your Jay-Z aspirations will blind the ladies or completely eschewing clothes for redundant flashes of your chest.  I mean, social-media-has-died, we’ve-all-reverted-back-to-texts confidence that has your object of affection liking how you look but loving how you make them feel, how much the pure quintessence of who you are and what you’ve achieved, no matter at what level, engages them through your sheer passion and confidence.

 Please don’t get the ideology twisted; by all means, if you are more challenged to focus on solely attaining Louboutins rather than an engaging literary read or even a healthy balance of both, go ahead.  Clothing, looks and attraction will always have its importance but you will eventually reap what you sow.  Pigalles and Lou Pik Pik? I doubt will equate to progression nor is it a true measurement of progression.   The truth is, when, and not if, you do realise your full worth and what you want, you will have to fight, at a stage in your life where habits are harder to break, to get the valuable respect you deserve from the opposite sex. Who really wants that struggle?  Work on yourself now and let your style become a by-product.

I know having confidence is not the sole requirement for growth when it comes to the possibility of relationships but it’s easier to speak about something that you've lived through so I’ll revisit this topic in the future. It’s been therapeutic writing this and hopefully I've made points that have resonated with some.  Whilst I’m still human, it has never really been a get-out clause to not pursue the goals that make my heart sing. Not even so much for being able to bring something to the table come that time when I meet another guy that holds my interest but mainly for my happiness. And being unique.  Definitely being unique.

SB xx