SBism™: An Open Letter

Hey body,

How do I capture our journey? From pre-teen rolls and unusually large hips for a 12 year old to stumbling through puberty changes and unexpected attention.  You have made me feel amazing at times and so low I want to stay in an enclosed space forever.  In my ever-increasing age I am still yet to figure you out.  Every time I show an inch of you to the world, I have inner anxiety that very few seem to understand.  An attention-grabbing body does not equate to attention-grabbing.  But as the years go on I love you more and I'm okay to own you.  Your stomach is far too big by any of my demands and I've violently pinched you with wishes for that part of disappear, gym, diet and all. I legit think I can fly with your triceps, with your cooperation on looking toned having been approximately 2 times in my adult life.  Your bum; the epitome of the revolution against fitting into a pair of any trousers.



But your skinny little ankles have supported me when men have broken my heart for not having you and women have shamed me for not understanding you. Despite the aggravation I give you to mould you into an idea of 'perfect', your broken knees have had enough strength to get down on onto the ground and join my voice and mind in prayer.   You keep me warm through my insane stubbornness not to wrap you up and held your form long enough for me to appreciate you for who you are.  Not who you were or who you will be.  Who you are.





By no means can I promise I won't cry over you again or wish you had the grace of Ashley Graham or the confidence of Danielle Brooks. I'll probably still struggle to explain you for a while longer. But we are a team.  We roll with the punches, the criticisms, the praise and the pains together.  Thank you for your glow, your melanin making me proud to be a black woman everyday.  Thank you for your patience and not giving up on me. It's truer now more than ever that we can do anything through Christ that strengthens us. And our duty?  It's to remind every single person we come across that insecurities don't go in a day, habits die hard and time is a perfect healer.  The struggle may not be publicised but it truly exists.  But there is no way we are all still alive not to make our own impact, to build on life's little lessons everyday.  I hope you enjoyed our solo trip as much as I did. It feels good to be one step closer to liberated.

Love,

SB xx