SPOTLIGHT: TUMI OLAOSHUN

Giving how much she's impacted my life in such a short space of time, I can't quite pinpoint when I came to know about Miss Tumi Olaoshun.  Like an angel, she found her way into my peripheral (and her book into one of my faves of 2018) just at the right time.  Funny, smart and transparent to a T, Tumi's personality and ability to turn heartbreak into healing is why I had to share her talents on this Spotlight.

Having previously attended her book club, I can testify that Tumi's narrative echos many situations us singletons are experiencing, with her personal journey to writing her first book 'What They Don't Tell You About Being Single' (WTDTY) being the revelatory spark.  Below, we discuss the inspiration behind WTDTY, authoring to a new audience, being 30, single and thriving and building up a generation of women to be better for God.

Tumi The Author

Why WTDTY? 

The honest truth is that God used me to write this book because He wanted to show me how far He had brought me. The process of writing very therapeutic for me and allowed me to share my brokenness and experience with other women. A lot of my mistakes I made because I just didn’t know any better. I had friends and support in the church, but I didn’t think ‘these things’ were the things we should be talking about until it was too late. 

The road to WTDTY

Was I scared? 100%. A lot of my dating faux pas and some of my most painful moments are in that book. But I deeply believe that I needed I do that, to celebrate my coming out on the other side. A lot of people found it almost strange that I had written the book whilst still single. But for me, it was essential that I shared what I had learnt, where I am. I don’t believe that just because I am still single that my experiences are less valid compared to if I was engaged or married. My prayer with this book was that if it helped ONE woman make a better decision, develop a better understanding of herself in Christ, then it would have been worth it.

Educating a new Audience 

The support has been overwhelming, I have been received so much love from married and single readers, women and men. In fact, I have had men message me about how they didn’t really understand it from a women’s point of view. I think they were particularly surprised that it wasn’t a man bashing book or a name and shame. They’ve actually been the ones to recommend my book to other women, that was an unexpected surprise!

Tumi the Woman

Women who do it afraid are the real winners

It took a lot of courage for me to release the book. Up to the last few weeks of release, I had many doubts and anxieties about the thought of my sharing my story from my perspective. I was petrified what people think.  Seven months on, I am so grateful I did. I have found a new strength and boldness in God’s plan for my life. I would also challenge anyone who has been afraid to do something out of their comfort zone, to do it anyway. WTDTY is a prime example of doing it afraid!

Keeping it all the way Intentional

When I first released the book, loads of my friends thought it would “bring all the boys to the yard…” but actually it was been quite the opposite. And that doesn’t worry me. In fact, it has been a relief, because it really sifts out the guys with real intent and the guys who ‘just want to see where it will go’. WTDTY has enabled to be bold about my faith, my requirements in a partner and as time goes by, I am more unapologetic about it. It’s saved me a lot of time!

Tumi to the world

There were many things pre WTDTY I was too shy to talk about. More times than not I am often, when I am posting on @knowingbetterdoingbetter I'm preaching to myself, talking about myself, and hotting myself up (sometimes it has to be done!). But the bigger picture is to challenge this generation of women to be better for God. For so long, I tried to handle my love life in my own strength, I wanted to mix parts of the world, with the best part of the Bible and I wondered often why it awry. I want women to seek themselves in Christ, to be women who fight in prayer for their future, themselves and their dreams. I have experienced first-hand the healing and wholeness that is available in Christ Jesus, and I am desperate to maintain that wholeness, especially in the area of relationships.

Tumi in 3 Words?

Passionate, Committed & Loyal